Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Due to technological advancements in medical science, the average lifespan of human beings has increased significantly from recent years. However, in many countries, it results in the growth of greying society. Therefore, some people think that it is a problematic while, others oppose and says it is beneficial. this essay will examine that the advantages outweighs disadvantages.

Firstly, the increase in aged population directly impacts on the economy of the country. as the number of old individuals and their lifespan increase, government needs to provide more pension to them for more longer period. When it happens on a large scale then it can create a massive impact on the overall budget of country's economy. Secondly, certain jobs are not having the resistance of age limit to work, in those fields the number of old people will get increased. As a result youngsters will not get enough opportunities even after becoming eligible for that job.

Despite of these disadvantages, there are some advantages as well. First of all, old people can be helpful to give the directions to the youth. As they have an experience to handle different types of conditions, they can guide their grand children to take certain decisions wisely. For instance, it has been acknowledge by many surveys that the societies which are having more old people, the kids who belongs from that society are more likely to respect others and humble.

In conclusion, the increasing population of old people might be helpful to give directions but the impact on the economy of country and it can raise concern for the unemployment for the youth, the disadvantages outweighs advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout, arguing that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the economic impact and youth employment concerns are mentioned, they are not fully explored with specific examples or deep analysis. The counter-argument regarding the guidance provided by the elderly is present but remains superficial. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations or concrete real-world examples. Additionally, there is a contradiction in the conclusion where you state the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, despite having stated in the introduction that the advantages outweigh them, which weakens the overall clarity of your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Despite of', and 'In conclusion' are used to signal the progression of ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'Despite of' (which should be 'Despite' or 'In spite of'). Referencing is generally clear, though some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more fluid to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'pension', 'budget', and 'technological advancements'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and minor errors, such as 'greying society' (which is a bit informal), 'not having the resistance of age limit', and 'kids who belongs from that society'. These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning more natural collocations and refining your use of academic vocabulary to avoid phrasing that sounds translated or non-native.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'it is a problematic', 'the advantages outweighs', 'the kids who belongs', and 'the societies which are having'. These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. To achieve a higher score, you need to increase the frequency of error-free sentences and pay closer attention to basic grammatical rules, particularly verb endings and the correct use of articles, which currently detract from the overall quality of your writing.

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