Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many region, individuals are living longer than past. Some adults believe that old aged population cause difficulity for government. Other people think that aging population had adavantages and benefits for having them. In my view olderly people benefits society in different ways, supervising the children and young people, additionally telling real life example of thier own experience.

On the one hand, older people living longer than past and government think that these people create problems in country. However, retired old age get the pension from government and also every month funds so governments are unable to provide the funds because population is increasing and ecocnomy is suffering. For instance, in Pakistan retired army officers are provided by medical facilities, pensions and funds so government is unble to manage all these facilities.

On the other hand, some people believe that elderly people are benefical for thier society beacuse they supervise the children and also young age individuals. These people give real life lesson to young children and also provide them lessons of praticle life which benefit them in future. For example, telling younger about life problems and challanges which are faced by them in past, additionally giving solutions to that problem. Aging population often care for grand children by having a supervision.

In conclusion, older people provide unpaid help for sick or disable relatives and this care save families money and keep households stable. Seniors also give time to local groups and clubs and also share a lifetime of skills and stories additionally, help younger learn good social values.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and provides a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention economic burdens and social benefits, the arguments lack depth and specific analysis. For instance, the point about government funds is relevant, but the explanation is repetitive and lacks a sophisticated link to the broader societal impact. The conclusion introduces new points (unpaid care and local groups) that were not previously mentioned in the body paragraphs, which weakens the overall structure. To improve, ensure each body paragraph focuses on one main idea that is fully explored with logical reasoning and clear examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'additionally', 'also', 'for example'). Some transitions feel forced, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by grammatical errors. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'benefits for having them'. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next, creating a more cohesive and professional argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'old aged population', 'praticle life', and 'provided by medical facilities'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with collocations. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to demographics and economics, and pay closer attention to word forms and standard English collocations. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repeating words like 'people' and 'lessons'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'population... cause difficulity'), missing articles ('in many region'), and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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