Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In many nations, people are now living longer than in the past, resulting in a growing population of elderly people in society. Some people think there are benefits of aged people in society I believe the disadvantages of the elderly population outweigh the advantages because their pension and healthcare are almost a burden on the government and they contribute almost zero percent growth in the economy of a nation.
There are several benefits of having elderly people in society. First of all, older people have a considerable amount of knowledge and experience about their jobs and work experience, and it's helpful for the youth and they can learn valuable things from them in industries and offices. Secondly, older people are helpful in childcare because they know things better, like how to raise a child and how to handle the challenges. In addition, many elderly people are working as volunteers in a society, which helps the community a lot in many ways.
However, elderly people can create significant problems for the government. The main issue is the high cost of healthcare, which is a burden on the state because every year a big chunk of the budget is consumed by this healthcare system due to the health issues of the old people. Another problem is the pension of the retired older people, which creates a lot of stress on the state. This can also lead to labor shortages and slow economic growth. According to the 2010 survey in Japan, due to labor shortage, 0.3% of their GDP decreases every year.
In conclusion, although elderly people contribute to society and help the youth, I believe the disadvantages of the elderly population outweigh the advantages because of the high healthcare costs and pensions, and it can create a labor shortage, which can slow the economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The introduction states the writer's stance, and the body paragraphs provide relevant arguments for both sides before concluding. While the ideas are relevant, some points, such as the claim that the elderly contribute 'zero percent growth,' are slightly over-generalized and could be more nuanced. The inclusion of a specific example regarding Japan's GDP adds weight to the argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that the development of ideas is more balanced and avoids overly simplistic assertions about economic contributions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central focus, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'First of all,' 'Secondly,' 'In addition,' and 'However' helps guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the benefits from the disadvantages. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions between sentences could be more sophisticated to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. Overall, the structure is clear and supports the development of the argument effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows for clear communication. The student uses some topic-specific terms like 'pension,' 'healthcare,' 'budget,' and 'labor shortages.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is some repetition of basic phrases like 'elderly people' and 'in society.' To improve, the student should aim for more varied synonyms and collocations to demonstrate a wider lexical range. There are no significant spelling errors, and the word choices are generally accurate, though they lack the precision and sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the grammar is generally accurate and communication is never impeded, there are some minor errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'benefits of aged people in society' (should be 'benefits of an aging population'). The use of complex sentences is present, but the control is not entirely consistent. Punctuation is generally correct, but the sentence structure could be more varied to demonstrate greater flexibility. The majority of the sentences are error-free, which is a positive indicator.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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