Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many nations, people are now living longer than in the past, resulting in a growing population of elderly people in society. Some people belive that there are benefits of aged people in society I believe the disadvantages of the elderly population outweigh the advantages because their pension and healthcare are a significant burden on the government.

There are several benefits of having elderly people in society. First of all, older people possess considerable knowledge and professional experience, which can be helpful for younger people and they can learn valuable things from them in industries and offices. Secondly, elderly people are helpful in childcare because they know things better, like how to raise a child and how to handle the challenges. In addition, many elderly people are working as volunteers in a society, which helps the community a lot in many ways.

However, elderly people can create significant problems for the government. The main issue is the high cost of healthcare, which is a burden on the state because every year a significant proportion of the budget is consumed by this healthcare system due to the health issues of the old people. Another problem is the pension of the retired older people, which creates a lot of stress on the state. This can also lead to labor shortages and slow economic growth. According to the 2010 survey in Japan, labor shortages caused by an aging population reduced GDP growth by 0.3% annually.

In conclusion, although elderly people contribute to society and help the youth, I believe the disadvantages of the elderly population outweigh the advantages because of the high healthcare costs and pensions, and it can create a labor shortage, which can slow the economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the reference to the 2010 Japanese survey regarding GDP growth. However, the development of the 'advantages' section is slightly less detailed than the 'disadvantages' section. While the position is clear, the essay would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of how these two sides interact, rather than simply listing points. Overall, the task is fulfilled effectively with a consistent stance maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, such as the benefits of the elderly in the second paragraph and the economic burdens in the third. Cohesive devices like 'First of all', 'Secondly', 'In addition', and 'However' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. The progression of ideas is smooth, and the relationship between the arguments is easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a coherent and well-structured response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task and allows for clear communication. The student uses some topic-specific terminology such as 'pension', 'healthcare system', 'labor shortages', and 'GDP growth'. While the range is adequate, it lacks the more sophisticated or idiomatic expressions that would push the score into the higher bands. There are no significant spelling errors, and word choice is generally accurate, though some phrasing is slightly repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'elderly people' and 'society'. Expanding the range of synonyms would enhance the lexical quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is generally good control over grammar, though there are occasional minor errors, such as 'Some people belive' (spelling) and 'the pension of the retired older people' (slightly awkward phrasing). Complex structures are attempted, such as the use of 'although' in the conclusion and relative clauses in the body paragraphs. These errors are non-systematic and do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, the student should aim for more varied complex sentence patterns and ensure consistent accuracy in subject-verb agreement and spelling.

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