Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The debate surrounding an aging population has garnered considerable attention globally, with opinions sharply divided. On one hand, aging demographic is perceived as a challenge for governments; on the other, it is seen as a societal asset. This essay posit that the benefits brought by an elderly populace significantly outweigh the drawbacks, given their wealth of experience and continued economic contributions.
Firstly, senior citizens are invaluable repositories of wisdom and experience, which they impact to younger generations. Their role in shaping historical consciousness, many elders lived through pivotal events, such as the technological boom or significant political upheavals. Their first-hand accounts and insights are irreplaceable, ensuing that lessons from the past are not just remembered but integrated into current societal norms and decision-making processes. This intergenerational exchange fosters a society that is well-grounded in its history and more resilient to future challenges.
Moreover, contrary to the belief that retires are strain on economic resources, many continue to contribute activity to the workforce. In countries like Japan, where the aging population is notably high, older workers are not just participating but are essential in addressing labour shortages. Their presence in various sectors brings a balance of skills and perspectives, often leading to more innovative and empathetic workplace cultures. Additionally, their mentorship roles in organizations enhance knowledge transfer, ensuring business continuity and growth.
In conclusion, through the phenomenon of people living longer than ever before is posing some challenges, these are far outweighed by the societal contributions made by the elderly. Their involvement in cultural preservation and continuous economic participation affirms their invaluable role. Societies rich in elderly citizens benefit from a wealth of history and experience, fostering more resilient and dynamic economic and social frameworks.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the benefits of an aging population outweigh the drawbacks. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the points regarding the 'wealth of experience' and 'economic contributions' of the elderly. The argument is supported by relevant examples, such as the mention of Japan's labor market. The response maintains a consistent focus throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments. To reach a higher band, the essay could have briefly acknowledged the specific nature of the 'problems for governments' mentioned in the prompt to provide a more balanced exploration before refuting them, but the current development is sufficient for a strong score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is smooth. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. The referencing is generally clear, and the flow of information is natural. There are no significant issues with cohesion, and the structure supports the overall argument well.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is generally precise and appropriate for an academic essay. Phrases like 'invaluable repositories of wisdom', 'pivotal events', and 'societal asset' demonstrate a good range. There are a few minor errors in word choice or form, such as 'impact' instead of 'impart', 'retires' instead of 'retirees', and 'contribute activity' instead of 'contribute actively'. Despite these occasional inaccuracies, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey complex ideas clearly and demonstrates a good level of sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. There is good control over grammar, with many error-free sentences. However, there are a few persistent errors, such as 'aging demographic is' (missing an article), 'many elders lived' (should be 'as many elders have lived'), and 'through the phenomenon' (should be 'though'). These errors are minor and do not impede communication. The punctuation is generally accurate, and the sentence variety contributes to the overall readability of the text.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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