Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, citizens life time period is enhanced than ever before. However, some individuals ague that aging population builds challenges for authorities. From my perspective, it has both pros and cons.

To commence with, due to enhancement of life period in citizens builds the several challenges regarding states like it contribute the older individuals living in this country. Moreover, in Germany the state has been contributed with their individuals when they cross their age 50. Moreover, some individuals argued that this will constructs the challenges for the authorities. Nevertheless, multiple countries with powerful financial status aids the peoples living in their country. Countries like USA, UK, Germany, Sweden, support their residents at the time of retirement which creates a friendly environment between residents and the state.

On the other hand, some individuals argued against the statement like their ideas shows that it creates several challenges for the government. Moreover, like state should pay panssions, health benefits or other facilities according to the law therefore they against this statement. In my opinion, the advantages are far high like the major reason is that once old residents died earlier we can't learn numerous things from they which are beneficial the our youngster or kids to pass the life with their expertise.

In conclusion, nowadays pons of this notion is far high due to the numerous benefits specially for the our new generation which gain several experiences from the old citizens which aid in their life. Thus, it is very beneficial for us.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is limited and often unclear. While you mention both advantages and disadvantages, the arguments are not fully extended. For example, the point about learning from the elderly is a good idea, but it is expressed in a confusing way ('once old residents died earlier we can't learn numerous things'). The position is generally clear, but the lack of logical depth and the repetitive nature of the arguments prevent a higher score. You need to provide more specific, well-explained examples to support your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To commence with' and 'Moreover' are used frequently but do not always connect ideas logically. There are also issues with referencing; for instance, the transition between the disadvantages and the advantages is abrupt. The flow of the argument is frequently interrupted by unclear sentence structures, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of your thoughts.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'citizens life time period is enhanced' instead of 'life expectancy has increased' and 'pay panssions' (spelling error). You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to use more sophisticated or academic language effectively. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to demographics and government policy, and ensure you check your spelling of key terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a high frequency of grammatical errors throughout the essay, including subject-verb agreement ('it contribute the older individuals'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence construction. While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often faulty, which causes difficulty for the reader. Punctuation is also inconsistent. You need to focus on basic sentence structure and ensure that your subjects and verbs agree. Reducing the number of errors in simple sentences should be your priority before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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