Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While some advocate that elderly people put an immense burden on the government, others argue they are still beneficial for the society. I believe that the larger elderly population causes distinct national problems, such as infrastructural strains and inefficient economic resource allocation, which mean that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

On the one hand, having an older parent like grandmother or grandfather is a blessing for any family as they can help young parents in various ways. These respected elder parents provide invaluable, unpaid childcare for their grandchildren which is significantly helpful for the new parents as they don't have any prior knowledge about new born baby care. They have a wealthy amount of knowledge about the cultures and heritages, so they can pass down the historical knowledge and tradition. Moreover, young people benefit from their parents' savings in the long run. For example, many retired people get a healthy amount of pension, which ultimately helps their young child.

On the other hand, there are notable drawbacks for having a larger number of elderly people in a country.a retired eldery individual do not pay tax, moreover the government needs to give them monthly pension which causes inefficient resource allocation. The government needs to build old age home as some elder people don't have anyone to support them in their last days. They often get sick so the government needs to invest on their treatment also. These severe problems cause significant infrastructural strains for a nation. For instance, many hospitals in Bangladesh have special care zones for the old people, which is completely funded by the government.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that although elderly people can help their family in many ways, they put significant pressure on the government. So the government should find a viable solution.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified both the benefits and the drawbacks, ultimately arguing that the disadvantages are more significant. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of childcare and cultural transmission for benefits, and economic/infrastructural strain for drawbacks. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding economic strain could be strengthened by discussing the shrinking workforce or the specific impact on tax revenue more deeply. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully explored with more nuanced reasoning rather than listing several points briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover', which help the flow of the text. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of family benefits and the economic drawbacks is functional but could be more sophisticated. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. You use some good collocations like 'inefficient economic resource allocation' and 'invaluable, unpaid childcare'. However, there are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'wealthy amount of knowledge' (a better choice would be 'a wealth of knowledge') and 'healthy amount of pension' (which is slightly informal). There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'elderly individual' being used with a plural verb 'do not pay'. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary and refining your collocations will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'a retired eldery individual do not pay tax' contains a subject-verb agreement error and a spelling error ('elderly'). Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as missing commas after introductory phrases and a missing space after a period in the third paragraph. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for minor mechanical errors would be beneficial.

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