Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

one section of society thinks that elders causes difficulties for authorities, while others believs that there are advantages if society has more older individuals. To a large extent I agree with the benefits of having an aging population outweigh its drawbacks.

To commence with, the merits of having elder people. The first and the formost reason is that they teach youngster about the culture and tradtional values. In modern era, youngster preferred to follow western culture if there are no old people in families there will be a risk of loss in culture and tradtional values. Moreover, many older people are working in the NGO, like keep the surroundings neat and clean as a valunteers they not get paid for this job

Additonaly, they generate revenue to the government because many elders are still running their own business such as grocery stores and pay tax to the government. For example, a survey was conducted in the USA which showed that revenue generated by old people helps government to develop the nation.

On the other hand, there are some demerits of having elders in society, some youngsters facing difficulties to get a job because in some factories elders are still working, Additionally, most of elders are facing some health related issues such as diabetis and cancer and their family members have to spend lot of money on their treatments.

To conclude, no doubt some elders are creating problems for youth to find a job but having older popution has many benefits because they are preserving culture and tradtions and also generate revenue to government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding cultural preservation and economic contribution are relevant, though they are somewhat under-developed. For instance, the point about NGOs is mentioned but lacks specific detail or clear connection to the broader societal impact. The counter-argument regarding job competition and healthcare costs is present but could be more thoroughly explored to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the complexity of the issue. Overall, the ideas are relevant, but the support provided is relatively brief and lacks depth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition 'To commence with' is slightly awkward, and the use of 'Additionally' and 'Moreover' is functional but basic. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and better referencing to connect ideas more fluidly. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several spelling errors, such as 'believs', 'youngster' (used as a plural noun), 'tradtional', 'valunteers', and 'diabetis'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do indicate a lack of precision. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but there is a lack of less common or more sophisticated lexical items that would be expected at a higher band level. The word choice is generally functional but lacks variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('elders causes', 'youngster preferred'), missing articles ('in the NGO', 'to the government'), and awkward phrasing ('they not get paid'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are persistent and occur in both simple and complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices and run-on sentences. A greater focus on proofreading and mastering basic grammatical rules is necessary to improve the score.

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