Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given statement demonstrate the information about that nowadays people are now living longer than ever before in many countries. Some people say an aging population creates problems for society and governments while others think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. It will be elaborate in further paragraphs.

Analyzing the statement and explaining it further the first and foremost thing is that it is true people are living longer than to the past. Elderly people are very beneficial for our young generation because they gives a useful lesson about our culture, region and take most important decisions. Secondly, older people have valuable knowledge, skills and professional experiences. For example, with the help of experiences they guide young workers and so on. Thirdly, Older people can pass traditions, culture, life experience, and moral values to younger generations. For example, This can strengthen relationships between generations.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages.

First of all, Elderly people often need more medical treatment, medicines, and long-term care. This put pressure on governments budgets. Secondly, more retired people means that governments should pay pansion to older people which may effect on economy budget and increase problems. Thirdly, When many people retire, there are shortage of workers or labours for country.

Overall, in my opinion, having older people were very beneficial for our young generations and our society becuase they have a lot of knowledge, skill and past experiences which they share with their people and help young workers in their works. Also they give honest advices to their childrens about their culture, regions and so on.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention benefits like 'knowledge' and 'traditions' and drawbacks like 'medical costs' and 'pension burdens', these points are listed rather than fully extended with detailed examples or logical analysis. To reach a higher band, you should aim to explain the 'why' and 'how' behind your points more thoroughly. For instance, instead of just stating that elderly people provide lessons, explain how this intergenerational transfer of knowledge specifically impacts modern societal stability or economic productivity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'first of all', 'secondly', and 'on the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'This can strengthen relationships' follows a list of abstract concepts). To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one, rather than just listing points in a repetitive sequence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on common terms like 'good', 'problems', and 'beneficial'. There are also some word-choice errors, such as 'pansion' (spelling: pension) and 'effect on economy budget' (should be 'affect the national budget'). To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to the topic, such as 'demographic shift', 'fiscal strain', or 'intergenerational knowledge transfer'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('they gives', 'having older people were'), article usage ('a shortage of workers or labours'), and awkward phrasing ('The given statement demonstrate the information'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization to ensure your writing is more accurate.

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