Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is widely acknowledged that aging population plays pivotal role in shaping various aspects of our lives. In recent years, senior citizens are increased in numerous countries . Minority of individuals believe that it contribute issue to the authorities. Other members of society content that positive aspect if more older adults society have. According to my perspective the drawbacks of aging population hold much water than its benefits.
Commencing with merits, there are numerous advantages of aging population. The first and foremost reason behind this is that older adults have more experience than youngsters. To elaborate it, they can go through different faces of their life and have different strategy to resolve the issues in various ways. Another factor is that aspiration of adolescents . To explain it, senior citizens offer long term goal to their children and also assist them to acquire their goals.
Nevertheless, there are numerous drawbacks which cannot be neglected. Firstly, workforce declined. To make it more clear, if elderly people is more in any countries so there is less youngsters which is the future of the country.
Secondly, huge amount of resources needed. To clarify it, when there is more older people in a country there may more need of workers who can take care of them and more hospital are needed for their treatments. For instance, if old peoples are more , they may need more assistance and support on their daily routine.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the development of ideas. While you present a clear position, the arguments are underdeveloped. For example, the point about 'workforce declined' is mentioned but lacks sufficient explanation or specific examples to fully support your stance. The conclusion is also missing, which is a significant omission for an academic essay. To improve, ensure you expand on each point with concrete examples and provide a clear summary of your position in a concluding paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', but the flow is often mechanical. Some transitions are awkward, such as 'To elaborate it' and 'To make it more clear', which are not standard academic phrases. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression is hindered by the brevity of the points. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument smoothly. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You use phrases like 'more older people' and 'more hospital' which are grammatically incorrect and lack precision. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'hold much water', which is an idiom that does not fit the formal tone required for an academic task. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, such as 'demographic shift' instead of 'aging population' or 'economic burden' instead of 'huge amount of resources needed'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'senior citizens are increased' and 'if elderly people is more'. Articles are frequently missing or misused, for example, 'in any countries' and 'more hospital are needed'. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with few attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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