Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many regions of the World, people are now living longer than before. Some people believe an aging population arises problems for government While other argue there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Both of aspects are right in their own way. Here are some advantages that outweigh disadvantages of having elders.

Overall, increasing number of higher citizens in any society is quite strange but common as well. It may be results of people taking good care of themselves, exercise properly, keep health insurance.

Firstly, the advantage of having elder is recommended and good by the way, In my opinion elders like our grandparents and great grandparents plays important role in youth. They seemed to be the best teacher and guiders for youth in their home and for society too. For example, I always remember an old man whom I met last years in society park. He was much active and passionate about his health. After a little conversation with him I came to know that he was a retired lecturer in college and now provide students free education about physics.

Secondly, our Elders plays a vital role in housekeeping and management. In this era everyone in still busy in building his/her career and some of grandmothers take care of children at home. It saves time for parents and money as well to spend on caretaker or nanny. For instance, nowadays people do not usually trust nannies or midwifery by the way, all the duties of children mostly done by grandparents in Asia.

Although, increasing number of higher citizen develop pressure on government, it overloads hospitals and old age homes for people who could not take responsibility of their elders. Despite to it, In my view having elder is always a blessing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention the role of elders as teachers and in childcare, the discussion on the disadvantages is very brief and lacks depth, appearing only in the final paragraph. The position is clear, but the arguments could be more thoroughly extended to meet the requirements for a higher band. To improve, ensure that both sides of the argument are given balanced and detailed exploration, moving beyond personal anecdotes to broader societal impacts.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Despite to it' or 'by the way', which do not function well as logical connectors. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the introduction and the transition between the benefits and the drawbacks. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'nevertheless') would significantly enhance the flow and logical progression of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'higher citizens' instead of 'senior citizens' or 'elderly population', and 'arises problems' instead of 'causes problems' or 'poses challenges'. The repetition of basic terms like 'good' and 'important' limits the range. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to the topic of demographics and social policy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Elders plays', 'grandparents plays'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'It may be results of people taking good care'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and comma splices. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and refining the use of complex structures to ensure they are error-free.

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