Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
nowadays, in numerous countries individuals are living longer then past. some residents say that an elderly population make problems for governments. other people believe there are advantages if society has more elderly people. I completely disagree with this that having an elderly people in society has some benefits.
On the one hand, the elder people can not do their work by their own they always need some helpers. They do not take care of themselves. If any ageing person has their children then they will take responsibility of their parents. This can create an additional pressure on families. For instance, the son will keep his elderly parents with him. if they become ill, he will take responsibility of his parents and it is his duty to take them to doctors and support them.
On the other hand, if the elderly people are rich they do not have to face any difficulties. Whereas, if they do not rich they will face many problems in old age. In this case, government should take care of such people. Government need to build old age homes and provide every kind of facility to them. This can put a financial burden on governments. They more likely to need medical treatment. All these duties fall on the government.
All in all, i believe that elder people become dependent on others like government or their children. they become burden on government and negatively effect the economy. That's why I am not agree with this that ageing population has more benefits then drawbacks.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but fails to provide a balanced discussion. The task asks to what extent advantages outweigh disadvantages, yet you only focus on the negative aspects, essentially ignoring the 'advantages' side of the argument. Your position is clear, but the development is one-sided and lacks depth. To improve, ensure you acknowledge the benefits of an aging population—such as the wisdom and experience elderly people contribute to society—before explaining why you believe the drawbacks are more significant. This would provide a more comprehensive and balanced response required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the internal flow between sentences is often disjointed. For example, the transition between the idea of wealthy elderly people and the government's role is abrupt. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'they' without a clear antecedent in some instances. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'problems', 'people', and 'take responsibility'. There is little attempt to use less common or academic vocabulary. Furthermore, there are errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'do not rich' instead of 'are not wealthy' and 'negatively effect' (should be 'affect'). To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic terminology related to demographics and economics, such as 'socio-economic implications', 'fiscal burden', or 'intergenerational support'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'I am not agree with this' (should be 'I do not agree') and 'living longer then past' (should be 'than in the past'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the start of sentences and issues with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures will also help demonstrate better grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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