Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Now a days people are living longer there before, and it is a debatable topic wether older people are benefits for the socity. Although this can create some difficulties, I believe that the disadvantages outweight the advantages because the need extra care and resouces.

There are several drawbacks of having more elderly people in a country, as it can create financial burden to the families because their are multiple health issue with aged people. Medicine and good doctors can cost big amount of expense every month. Moreover, old people needs a person to take care in day to day life for doing basis works on daily rotiune meaning one of the family members have to be engage or they need to hire a caretaker. However, people prefer to live in a nuclear family where both male and female go to earn bread barely spending time with their children's.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 148 words. Consequently, the development of ideas is severely limited. While you state a position in the introduction, the body paragraph is underdeveloped and lacks sufficient supporting evidence or examples to fully explore the complexities of an aging population. The argument remains superficial, focusing only on financial and caregiving burdens without addressing the prompt's requirement to discuss potential advantages or provide a balanced view. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure you address all parts of the prompt in greater detail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into two short paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of length and depth. You use some basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover' and 'However', but the logical flow is interrupted by the abrupt ending. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'their are multiple health issue', where the connection to the previous sentence is weak. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by well-developed supporting points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'socity' instead of 'society', 'outweight' instead of 'outweigh', and 'rotiune' instead of 'routine'. Phrases like 'doing basis works' and 'earn bread' are either grammatically incorrect or informal in this context. You rely on basic vocabulary, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and ensure you proofread for spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('old people needs', 'their are multiple health issue'), incorrect verb forms ('be engage'), and punctuation errors. The sentence structures are predominantly simple, with few attempts at complex sentences. The lack of control over basic grammar, such as pluralization and verb tense, significantly impacts the clarity of your writing. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures.

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