Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is often argued that , in many countries people are living longer than even before. Some people say an aging people creates problems for governments, while other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. On the one hand, people who supports that aging people is problem for the government, believe that some people don't stay with their parents as well. This is because they can't take care of them so some people sent them to the old age home to live their and some of them don't even go to meet them in the old age. On the other hand, those who support that elderly people should live in the societies and there are many benefits of having them in our family. This is because the elderly people spent their all money and their age on their childrens so they can live peacefully and calmly at their own home, and the benefits of having them is that elderly peoples are blessed for everyone , but some of the peoples who don't have elder peoples in thier house, so how they know that what is the value of having elder people in family. benefits of having them, that we can easily live in our house without stress at all. In conclusion, although people who support elder people are problem for the government. I believe that having elder people in our family is a blessing and we should take care of them like a god, because elder people are also god for us and having their blessings is a excellent thing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but fails to develop a clear argument. While you mention both sides, the discussion is superficial and lacks specific examples or logical depth. The prompt asks for an evaluation of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but your response focuses primarily on the emotional value of elderly family members rather than the socio-economic implications for governments mentioned in the prompt. The conclusion is repetitive and does not synthesize the points effectively. To improve, ensure you address the 'government' aspect of the prompt with more analytical depth and provide clear, supported reasons for your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic paragraphing, but the internal structure is weak. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often repetitive or misused, such as the frequent use of 'This is because' and 'the benefits of having them'. The progression of ideas is disjointed, particularly in the second body paragraph where the sentences do not flow logically from one to the next. Referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use the same words, such as 'people', 'elderly', and 'benefits', throughout the text. There are also errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'aging people is problem' instead of 'an aging population is a problem' and 'spent their all money'. The range is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'demographic shift', 'pension burden', 'intergenerational support', or 'societal welfare'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people who supports'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, making the text difficult to read. While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often faulty, such as the final sentence which is a fragment. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that clauses are connected correctly using appropriate conjunctions and punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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