Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people think that the large number of elderly people cause problems for authorities, while others argue that there are many benefits for society in this situation. I agree with the second position, because elderly people have capital and time which they can invest in economy and spend for the society.

On the one hand, the ageing of population has many drawbacks. Elderly generation often lose the ability to work, causing the need to take care of them. Although many elderly people have families that can care for them and support them with money, not all children can afford themselves to care for their elderly parents because of lack of money and time. It imposes a financial burden on the government, which spend a lot of money, paying pensions and providing requiring medicines and treatments for elderly people. The problem is getting worse due to the birth rate crisis. For example, Russian authorities pay pensions from the salary of working people, but, because of birth rate crisis, the number of working people decreases, while number of those who retired rise, causing the future problems with paying pensions.

On the other hand, the large number of elders can be beneficial for country. In many developed countries people do not rely on the government pension system, accumulating their own capital and investing it in the local stocks. It affords elderly people to get payments larger than the government can provide, help economic development and decrease pressure on the budget. Moreover, retired people often spend their time on socially beneficial activities. For example, in Russia many elderly women improve the courtyards and entrances of houses, creating favorable infrastructure for the residents.

In conclusion, while ageing of population lead to such drawbacks as pressure on the government’s budget, the benefits outweigh them. Elderly people often have enough time and money to spend for the benefit of society.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have provided relevant arguments for both sides and supported your opinion with specific examples, such as the pension system in Russia. The ideas are generally well-developed, though the explanation of how elderly people 'invest in economy' could be more specific to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance. To improve, ensure that your arguments are fully extended; for instance, you mention that elderly people improve infrastructure, but explaining the broader economic impact of such social contributions would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central topic, and you use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow. For example, the sentence 'It affords elderly people to get payments...' is slightly awkward in its connection to the previous thought. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the overall flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'financial burden', 'birth rate crisis', and 'economic development' are used appropriately. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'afford themselves to care' (should be 'afford to care') and 'improve the courtyards' (which is a bit simplistic). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and less common lexical items related to demographics and economics, while ensuring they are used naturally in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the ageing of population', 'the number of working people decreases, while number of those who retired rise') and verb agreement. Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'It affords elderly people to get payments larger than the government can provide'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of articles. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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