Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, people have longer life-span compare to past. Individuals from distinct country believes that an elderly citizens would make a burden to the policy makers. While on the other hand, some citizens think that having elderly individuals would be advantageous to the society. I think that disadvantages outweigh its advantages.

There are several benefits are there of having elderly citizens. They provides great mentorship and they can pass their knowledge and experience to the younger generations. They provide good child care also for instance, it parents are working then they will look after the children in a home. They will pass on the knowledge of the culture and traditions to the coming generations. And it will bring harmony in the society.

Despite of having distinct merits, it also has certain drawbacks. Aged population can create burden on the health care facility of the respected country. Goverment needs to allocate pention to elderly population which can be reduces the finance of the country. After certain age they can not work as much as younger one's and if maximum population will reach at retirement age then growth of the workplaces will be declined. And it will put burden on the younger generations due to shortage of healthy working individual. As age increases, there are high chances that they get serious disease conditions which will be dangerous for the health system.

To conclude with, despite of having several advantages they posses some serious drawbacks on goverment and work load of health care will get increased by having more population of old people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population and clearly states a position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention mentorship and childcare as benefits, these points are not fully explored with specific examples or deeper analysis. Similarly, the drawbacks regarding healthcare and pensions are mentioned but remain somewhat superficial. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more detailed explanations or concrete real-world examples to support your arguments, ensuring that the discussion is balanced and thoroughly developed throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'While on the other hand' and 'Despite of having distinct merits', to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'Despite of', which should be 'Despite' or 'In spite of'. Additionally, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to create a more natural, sophisticated connection between your arguments. The overall structure is logical, but the cohesion could be more fluid.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'mentorship', 'allocate', and 'retirement age'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'make a burden' instead of 'be a burden', 'respected country' instead of 'respective country', and 'pention' (spelling error). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and ensure you are using the correct word forms in context to avoid these minor inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('They provides', 'it parents are working'), incorrect article usage, and punctuation errors. For example, 'can be reduces' is grammatically incorrect. You attempt complex sentences, but they often contain errors that slightly distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and refining your use of articles and prepositions. Increasing your control over these fundamental structures will significantly improve the accuracy and readability of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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