Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays In maney countries the age of citizens are increase before past.few persons think that aging populations creates issues to goverments . Some other peoples like that aging citizens has more advantage to socities .I think disadvantage are overweigh with advantage .In up coming paragraphs i will discuess disadvantage and advanateg of aging populations.
To begin with , when the age of population are increase then goverment have more issues , over 55 age persons can do job as result 22 age person can not do jobs because old people can not retireds so fresher persons try to crime , government give pension to old persons ,For exampple, 20% fresher person have no job beacause old peoples have not retireds.
Moreover, when old age have more age then they have more life experience . so they can share life experience with new children , they can do easily complete work beacause they have more work experience .
In conclusion, I have written advantage and disadvantage of aging populations and disadvantage are overweight with advantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 174 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas, which remain superficial and under-supported. While the prompt asks for an evaluation of whether advantages outweigh disadvantages, the argument is underdeveloped and lacks sufficient depth or relevant examples. The position is stated, but the supporting points regarding employment and life experience are too brief and lack the necessary elaboration required for a higher band score. To improve, you must expand your arguments with more detailed explanations and specific, illustrative examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is limited by the brevity of the text. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'Moreover', but they are often used in a mechanical or repetitive way. The transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt, and the lack of a clear, logical flow between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion makes the essay feel disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph develops a single, clear idea that connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'age', 'people', and 'jobs'. There are several errors in word choice and form, such as 'maney' (many), 'socities' (societies), and 'fresher persons' (younger workers/graduates). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to the topic, such as 'demographic shift', 'pension burden', or 'intergenerational knowledge transfer', and pay closer attention to spelling and word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('the age of citizens are increase'), verb tense usage ('can not retireds'), and sentence structure. The range of structures is very limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. There is a lack of complex sentence forms, which are necessary for higher band scores. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses, before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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