Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is believed in several nations that the average life of a human being is increasing. A group of individuals argue that it is beneficial for the society to have a higher fraction of older people whilst another considers that this is a load for the government. The disadvantages of having an accelerated number of older people outweigh because they will be a burden for the governments as unemployed citizens.

There is no doubt that older people have more experience as compared to the new arrivals because they are the leading figures of every field such as research, medicine, criminal investigation, or engineering. This can be evidenced by a survey conducted in 2021 by some sociology students in a university. In their survey, they had stated that every field consists of less than a quarter of old people, but this quarter usually excels their younger juniors in the efficiency of their work.

Despite of their experience in almost every field, a higher proportion of old folks are not working and are a load for authorities. The reason behind this is that it is mandatory for many nations to provide retired employees and citizen with a monthly pension in order to support their monthly expenditure. So, more such people will require more capital by the government. For instance, in several European countries more than a quarter of the annual salaries goes to the past employees.

In conclusion, I would like to state that the demerits of having a higher number of old people are more as compared to merits because a little proportion of them work in fields.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified both the benefits and the drawbacks of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the experience of older workers is supported by a vague reference to a 2021 survey, which lacks specific detail or context. Furthermore, the conclusion is quite brief and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more detailed and that your conclusion provides a more comprehensive summary of your main arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Despite of', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion', to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Despite of' is grammatically incorrect; 'Despite' or 'In spite of' would be appropriate. Additionally, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better highlight the contrast between the benefits and the burdens of an aging population. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accelerated number', 'mandatory', and 'expenditure'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'average life of a human being' (life expectancy) and 'load for the government' (burden on the government). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, which occasionally hinders the precision of your argument. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to social and economic topics to demonstrate a wider range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Despite of their experience' (incorrect preposition), 'provide retired employees and citizen' (pluralization error), and 'outweigh because they will be a burden' (missing object for 'outweigh'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your points. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without missing necessary components.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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