Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before has become inceasingly common in recent years. Although it offers several advantages to the society its mainly heplful for both working parents, However, it also has Some disadvantages to governments.

To begin with, one major advantage of old people is helpful to both working parents. This is because if both mother and father are employees they have small kids they cannot take care of them . They face many problems with work as well as child its become mental stress if there are grandfather and mother in home its more help they can prepare food and they can take care of child and always they see them safe its help to working parents to do they work freely and after work they soend with children happily without any doubt. For example, its my personal experience my mom and dad both are doctors they cannot have enough time to take care of me and my brother at the days my grandmother with us she make us a lot like time to time food, bathing, cleaning our beds its help a lot to my mom and when my parents come to home all works are done by my grandmother and my mom and dad spend time with us.

However, one significant is that pensions to the old age people its becomes more budden to government. This is because in many countries there are many elder people and many governments provide free money to them every month its makes heavy problem to country economy. For instance, In India after 60 years every person in family get approximately 4000 ruppes of money every month, according to government half of the budget will complete its makes problem to goverment to maintain remaining facilites to country.

In conclusion, I belive this disadvantage is less siginficant than the advantage because in upcoming society there are many parents are employees its make many problem take care of childern and home by grandparents its makes so helpful, although we can overcome government easily by changing so rules in pensions and slove the problem easily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding the benefits for working parents is supported by a personal anecdote, which is relevant but lacks broader societal context. The discussion on government pensions is also somewhat simplistic. While a position is stated in the conclusion, the overall development of the argument is not fully extended or balanced, leading to a focus that is more descriptive than analytical. To improve, you should aim to provide more generalized, academic arguments alongside your personal examples to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is often mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'This is because', 'For instance'). There are issues with sentence-level cohesion, where ideas are strung together with commas rather than appropriate conjunctions or punctuation, such as in the sentence: 'This is because if both mother and father are employees they have small kids they cannot take care of them.' Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by these structural weaknesses. Improving the use of linking words and varying sentence structure would significantly enhance the clarity of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'inceasingly', 'heplful', 'soend', 'budden', and 'ruppes'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat narrow, relying on basic terms to express complex ideas. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'demographic shift', 'fiscal burden', 'intergenerational support') limits the score. To improve, focus on learning collocations and expanding your range of academic vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are often marred by grammatical errors. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation (e.g., 'one major advantage of old people is helpful', 'its makes heavy problem'). Run-on sentences are common, where multiple clauses are joined incorrectly without proper conjunctions or full stops. While the meaning is usually understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the text from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence boundaries and basic grammatical accuracy will be essential for your progress.

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