Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this contemporary era, people now are able to lives much longer and healthier compare to the last century due to the advancement in medical treatments, modern medicine and agriculture breakthrough. Although, elder population living longer create a huge financial and social challenge for society and government, I believe they're equally important as young adult as they offer valuable wisdom and maintain family bond of their family.

On one hand, the influence of people living longer undeniably present some hurdles to government finance. The biggest concern is the huge consumption of healthcare expenditure and pension funds. As more people live much longer than ever before and retired, this means fewer workers paying their income taxed, while more elder people collecting their pension funds causing imbalance and unequal influence for society. Furthermore, Older population rely more on medicare,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the required 250-word minimum, containing only 137 words. Because the essay is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence, the task is only partially addressed. The position is stated in the introduction, but the development of ideas is severely limited due to the lack of length. To reach a higher band, you must complete the essay by fully developing your arguments regarding both the advantages and disadvantages, and providing a clear conclusion that synthesizes your points. Currently, the response fails to provide a balanced discussion or a finished argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay shows some attempt at logical organization, using transition signals like 'On one hand' and 'Furthermore'. However, the abrupt ending and the incomplete nature of the second paragraph disrupt the flow of ideas. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of a conclusion and the unfinished state of the argument prevent the development of a coherent overall structure. To improve, ensure that each paragraph is fully developed with supporting evidence and that the essay concludes with a summary of your main points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'financial and social challenge' and 'healthcare expenditure', but there are errors in word form and collocation, such as 'agriculture breakthrough' (should be 'agricultural breakthroughs') and 'income taxed' (should be 'income tax'). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. For example, 'people now are able to lives much longer' contains a verb form error ('live'), and 'elder population' should be 'the elderly population'. The sentence structure is generally simple, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and pluralization. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors is noticeable. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, specifically verb tenses and the correct use of articles with plural nouns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.