Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Health plays a vital role in everyone's life, there is on going debate among numerous regions that: death rate decrease nowadays as compared to the past. The significant number of individuals believe that over aged people make the difficulty for the state, while others believe it has numerous advantages for the society.

On of the major advantage of the elderly people is that: they can teach the young generation through there experience and make them capable to be successful in life through their own experience of life. For instance, a son who become young don't know how to drive a car, however they can learn this from their father and their elder own's who have some experience of driving a car, rather than learning from any driving school, also it is safe the son's money and give them more confident.

The another important benefit of elder people is that: they can give confident and courage to the young people to do good in their life, also the young generation learn how to tackle with different problems of life through elder community experiences and face the challenges with more motivation.

In contrast, there are also some negative consequences of elderly people which can not be refuted, they increase the inflation rate and also dangerous for the economic growth of the nation. For instance, in Pakistan and other nation's governments pay the money to elderly people in every month, which has negative impact on the economy rate of the country.

In conclusion, according to my perspective, the advantages of having elderly community has outweigh the disadvantages, as young generation learn through there elder people experience's and make the country's lays more successful and powerful.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the two body paragraphs regarding advantages focus on the same point: the transfer of knowledge from the elderly to the young. The disadvantage section is also brief and relies on a single example regarding government pensions. To achieve a higher band, you should provide more diverse arguments and extend your analysis with more depth. While a position is stated in the conclusion, the overall development of the argument lacks the complexity required for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'On of the major advantage' and 'The another important benefit' are used to signal new points, but the internal flow within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. While there is a logical progression, the lack of variety in linking words and some awkward phrasing hinder the overall coherence of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher levels. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'make the difficulty for the state' instead of 'create difficulties for the state' and 'economic rate of the country' instead of 'economic growth'. Additionally, there are frequent errors in word form, such as 'elder own's' and 'experience's'. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and recurring errors in word choice and spelling prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'a son who become young'), incorrect use of articles, and punctuation errors, such as the misuse of colons after 'that'. There are also persistent errors with pluralization and possessives (e.g., 'nation's governments'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader and indicate a lack of control over complex grammatical forms.

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