Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Elderly Population is the burning topic these days. few thinks it is benefical to have old people. Few argue it is waste of money having oldage individuals in the society. In my opnion it is good to have old people. Let's discuss both opnions here.
On the one hand , Old people are really benefical to society because they teach new generation to be good with people, and teach us moral values and ethices . They will show us culture and give guidance in many ways like in business, family and many more. For instances, my grandfather is the one who taugh use how to respect elders and give valve to things and importance of individuals. In addition to it he taugh me business tips which our family is running from many decades onwards. He is the pillar of our family because of him we all are staying together.
On the other hands, Old generation speaks much which is disturbing to many people especially youth feels it like irritating. Few thinks government is spending more money on them unneccesarily by giving them shelter, food and health benefits . Furthermore by giving all these still government gives them pension and provide health schemes particularly for the 60 above age.Society thinks pension is much more to do to senior citizens apart from provinding them everthing at oldage homes.
In conclusion, senior citizens are beneficial to the soceity particularly for youth because in many homes in some countries grandparents look after their grandchildrens when parents are out for work. They doesn't cause any harm to society. I think
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the first body paragraph provides a personal example, the second paragraph relies on generalizations about government spending and social irritation. The conclusion is incomplete, as the final sentence trails off, failing to provide a final summary or a clear, sustained position. To improve, ensure that every paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the conclusion fully synthesizes the arguments presented rather than introducing new points like childcare.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hands' are used, but the latter contains a grammatical error. Transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt, and the lack of a finished conclusion significantly impacts the overall flow and logical progression of the argument. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the ideas connect more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'benefical' instead of 'beneficial', 'opnion' instead of 'opinion', and 'ethices' instead of 'ethics'. Additionally, word choices are often repetitive or slightly unnatural, such as 'give valve to things'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring accurate spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Few thinks', 'He taugh use'), article usage, and pluralization (e.g., 'grandchildrens'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from achieving a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and plural forms would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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