Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In recent decades, several countries individuals are currently living longer time ever before. Some people argue that ageing population makes numerous challenges for governments. However, Others individuals believe there are benefits if more elderly people live in society. While this trend offer many advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
On the one hand, nowadays young generation are going towards wrong directions and elder people can solve this problem. This is because young child do not know how should they talk with their parents, even sometimes they are very rude behaviour with their family and elder people play a major at this place because they give them right direction in their life, they learn to children how should they behave with their parents. Old individuals have a lot life experience, so they can share with all people which mistake should not do. For instance, In recent years many young age groups are suffering from stress and depression, therefore elder individuals can motivate students. Resultant, if older people are living in society it is positive impact on children and everyone.
On the other hand, many people believe that it creates a lot of problems for governments. This main reason for this that
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it is only 198 words long and ends abruptly mid-sentence. Consequently, the task is not fully addressed. While you attempt to present a position, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack the necessary depth required for an Academic Task 2 essay. The second body paragraph is incomplete, which prevents a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages. To improve, you must ensure you complete the essay structure and provide fully developed arguments with relevant examples to support your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay shows some attempt at logical organization through the use of linking phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, the abrupt ending significantly disrupts the flow and coherence of the text. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of a conclusion and the incomplete second paragraph make the overall progression unclear. Cohesive devices are used in a somewhat mechanical way, and the referencing is occasionally confusing, such as in the sentence 'elder people play a major at this place'.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', 'problems', and 'people'. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'young generation are going towards wrong directions' and 'elder people play a major at this place'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'demographic shift', 'intergenerational support', or 'fiscal burden', and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'young child do not know'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack necessary components, such as 'Resultant, if older people are living in society it is positive impact'. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and preposition usage to improve your accuracy.
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