Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent decades, several countries individuals are currently living longer time ever before. Some people argue that ageing population makes numerous challenges for governments. However, Others individuals believe there are benefits if more elderly people live in society. While this trend offer many advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
On the one hand, nowadays young generation are going towards wrong directions and elder people can solve this problem. This is because young child do not know how should they talk with their parents, even sometimes they are very rude behaviour with their family and elder people play a major at this place because they give them right direction in their life, they learn to children how should they behave with their parents. Old individuals have a lot life experience, so they can share with all people which mistake should not do. For instance, In recent years many young age groups are suffering from stress and depression, therefore elder individuals can motivate students. Resultant, if older people are living in society it is positive impact on children and everyone.
On the other hand, many people believe that it creates a lot of problems for governments. This main reason for this that government a significant amount of money they funding in old age care centre. For that reason, ageing population is big issue for the government To illustrate, in many countries old age population are increasing, hence they want to reduce old people in their country.
To conclude, elder people give to children personal lifes experience and gain children knowledge. In contrast, there are some drawbacks because government funding to old age care adn population is rising in many countries.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population. However, the position is not fully developed. While you mention that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in the introduction, the body paragraphs lack a clear, logical argument to support this stance. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding the role of elderly people in guiding the youth. The conclusion does not effectively synthesize the arguments or clearly restate your position. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-supported point that directly relates to your thesis statement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical or disjointed. For example, the transition 'Resultant' is used incorrectly, and the connection between the idea of elderly people helping youth and the overall societal impact is weak. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'at this place'. While you use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'In contrast', they are sometimes used in a way that does not accurately reflect the logical relationship between sentences. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence follows logically from the previous one will enhance coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'problems', 'good', and 'bad' (implied). There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'living longer time ever before' instead of 'living longer than ever before' and 'rude behaviour with their family' instead of 'rude behavior toward their family'. Some phrases are grammatically incorrect, which hinders the precision of your expression. To reach a higher band, focus on learning collocations and using more precise, academic vocabulary to describe social trends and economic impacts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'young child do not know'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence structures (e.g., 'This main reason for this that government a significant amount of money they funding'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some errors in complex sentence construction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like verb tense and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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