Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Elder people are living longer than ever before in some country. So some people says that ageing population creates problems for government and other says there are benefits form more elder people to society. In Todays essay, Firstly I am going to discuss why people think ageing population creates problem and secondly i will tell the outweigh of having an ageing population.
Some people thinks in the way that government has to spend their half fund for providing comfort to elders people , Such as they have to invest more money in hospitals, gardens or public service. When the number of elder people increases , Government needs to spend more money in healthcare. For example, If the number of elder people are increasing in developed city , the government have to increase more facality to that city.
on the other hand having more elder can bring more benefits to society. Older people have lots of knowledge and experience which can be used for younger generation. They can guide young people, How to live a life while balancing work, family. Moreover, we can learn about our culture from them, In this generation people neglecting our traditional.
In conclusion, ageing population can create some problems for government because elder people needs good healthcare and public service. However they provide many benefits through their experience and knowledge. Therefore the advantage of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantage. And i think we have to take care of them as they contribute many to society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the financial burden on governments and the social value of elderly knowledge, these points are not fully extended with specific, concrete examples or deeper analysis. The response remains quite general, which prevents it from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations of how these factors impact society, perhaps by referencing specific policies or social trends. The conclusion clearly states your position, which is a positive aspect of your task response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in your writing. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'In this generation people neglecting our traditional'). The progression of ideas is present but could be smoother. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your pronouns clearly refer back to the intended nouns to create a more cohesive text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. However, there are several instances of incorrect word forms and awkward collocations, such as 'elder people' (should be 'the elderly' or 'older people'), 'facality' (likely meant 'facilities'), and 'contribute many to society' (should be 'contribute much'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on repetitive phrasing. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure you are using the correct word forms in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('some people says', 'elder people needs'), article usage ('in some country'), and sentence fragments. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammar rules, particularly pluralization and subject-verb agreement. Practicing the construction of complex sentences will also help you demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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