Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern world, an aging population is increasing significantly, due to which certain challenges are created for both the government and community. A small group of people believes that it is creating challenges for the government, while others argue that an aging population has a positive impact on people's lives. In my point of view, a growing population of elderly people has some advantages, but its drawbacks outweigh its benefits.

One segment of the group firmly believes that aged people are beneficial for the society because they have in-depth knowledge, which could be transferred to the young generation. Senior citizens can pass down to the younger generation. Therefore, sharing cultural knowledge can bridge the gap between younger and older generations. Moreover, in traditional families older family members have the authority to make decisions, and other family members follow it in respect to their tradition. As a result, their experience and ability to make strong decisions make the family united. To take an example, most traditional families strictly follow and respect their senior family member, which creates strong bonding among them.

On the other hand, some people argue that a growing population of senior residents creates problems for government, bacause budren on medical department will increase. Older citizen are more often to get sick and an extra care will be needed to take of them. The more growing population of old people, the more the government need to reserve extra budget on their health. Furthermore, older employes reduces job oppurtunites for the younger people. when Senior employess delay retirement, fewer or no vacancies may be available for the younger candidates. To take an example, many companies do not advertise new vacancy until an old employe retires.

In my point of view, elderly citizens have more drawbacks than its beenfits. Older citznies need an extra care. on of the family member should be there for 24 hours to take care of him. therefor, he could not foucs on his gaosl.

In conclusion, seniors cetizens have both benefits and drawback, but i believe its drawbacks outweigh its benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding the benefits (knowledge transfer and family cohesion) and drawbacks (healthcare costs and employment competition) are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. The final body paragraph is quite brief and lacks the depth seen in the earlier sections. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively restates the position, but the overall development remains somewhat basic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. There are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, particularly in the fourth paragraph where the transition between the need for care and the impact on personal goals is abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas could be smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'budren', 'oppurtunites', 'employes', and 'citznies', which occasionally distract the reader. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'senior citizens' and 'traditional families', the range is limited. The repetition of basic words like 'problems' and 'challenges' suggests a need for more varied synonyms to demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'older employes reduces'), article usage (e.g., 'the more growing population'), and word order or phrasing (e.g., 'older citizen are more often to get sick'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. The control over complex structures is inconsistent, and punctuation is occasionally misused, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band in this criterion.

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