Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, major proportion of people are old individuals in a lot of countries. This is because of better healthcare, nutrition and healthy life-style. Some believe that elderly people are burden on governments, while others think that they have valuable contributions in society. Although having more number of aged persons may responsible for social and economic problems for state, I believe that they have more benefits which outweigh its disadvantages if governments provide better facilities.

One of the major disadvantages of having higher number of ageing individuals, is that they place extra-pressure on spending of the local bodies. Governments have to spend on pensions, healthcare and services for these old members of the society. Therefore, young workers who are already in lower proportion may face higher taxes to spend on ageing people. In result, economic challenges are faced by the state. For example, in Japan, there are more aged-people than young workers so that they often face economic challenges.

On the other hand, they can contribute substantially, if government authorities provide significant support. For instance, most of the old individuals do part-time jobs, or contribute their time for communities well-being. They may also help younger parents in their workforce by taking care of their childrens. Therefore they play a fundamental role in shaping families and society.

Furthermore, because of better health, retired people may work after retiring, or start small businesses. The most important advantage is that old members of country, share their experience and transferable skills with young generation, which helps them to mentor and learn from them.

In conclusion, elderly people undoubtedly make problems for governments by placing financial pressure and social problems. However their contribution is more beneficial for society in terms of sharing experience, valuable knowledge, shaping families and maintaining traditions. So that I believe that aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. Your ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the reference to Japan and the role of elderly people in childcare. However, some points could be developed further to reach a higher band. For instance, the discussion on economic contributions could be more specific regarding the types of industries or knowledge transfer. Your position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments, ensuring the task requirements are met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your arguments. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and sentence-level cohesion, such as the phrase 'In result' which is non-standard. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the central ideas are easy to follow, demonstrating a good level of coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'transferable skills', 'fundamental role', and 'economic challenges'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'major proportion of people are old individuals' (better: 'a significant proportion of the population is elderly') and 'childrens' (which is a grammatical error). To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, 'may responsible for' is missing a verb, 'higher number of ageing individuals, is' contains an unnecessary comma, and 'childrens' is an incorrect plural form. Additionally, there are issues with article usage, such as 'in lower proportion' and 'on spending of the local bodies'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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