Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many metropolitan countries, individuals lifespan has increased as compare with past. Regarding the impact of aging on society people have different views. Some proponents argue that elder population creates challenges for the nation, while others believe that it will be advantageous for the country to have an aging population. From my standpoint, the pros of having an aging population outweigh the cons. This essay will discuss both views, before presenting my opinion.
On the one hand, it is widely believed that the longer lifespan of people produces problem for the government. As the rate of retired employees increase which enhances the pension rates, although the government burdened to pay huge amount of money to retired employees. Additionally, as the person becomes older his health issues also rise, it creates over crowding in hospitals which become challenging for doctors to manage. For instance, numerous disease are age related such as osteoarthritis, disbetes, paralysis etc. Due to these health issues aged individuals admit in hospitals which increases pressure on doctors to treatment more patients.
On the other hand, while there are some disadvantages of having an aging population, it has various benefits. The grandparents have more experience of life which proves helpful for the young generation to build a successful future. In any trouble children can discuss their issue with their grandparents and get possible solutions. Moreover, older citizens help to preserve the cultural values which is crucial for the society. For instance, in the modern era usually all individuals forgot the cultural getup and are following western dressing. Aging population reminds the children their cultural outfit which is eastern attire.
In conclusion, as aging population is a double-edged sword. Nevertheless , its disadvantages can mitigate by reducing the pension rates and making proper diet plan of elder people. I firmly believe that the benefits of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. The government should arrange awareness events about this issue to reduce the problems of having an elder population.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the economic burden of pensions and the social value of intergenerational wisdom. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the suggestion to 'reduce pension rates' as a solution is not fully explored or evaluated in terms of its feasibility or social impact. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and introduces new, underdeveloped suggestions. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by more detailed reasoning or specific, well-explained examples rather than brief mentions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In any trouble children can discuss their issue'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall progression of ideas could be more sophisticated to achieve a higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'double-edged sword' and 'intergenerational'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'metropolitan countries' (likely meaning 'developed countries'), 'cultural getup', and 'treatment more patients'. Spelling errors like 'disbetes' also occur. To improve, focus on learning more precise collocations and ensuring that vocabulary is used in the correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('rate of retired employees increase'), article usage, and sentence construction ('the government burdened to pay'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack necessary prepositions. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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