Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, several countries experience that mostly individuals are now spending more decades as compared to the earlier time. While an increasing number of people think that aging creates population challenges for authorities. Whereas some argue that elders are more beneficial for our society and culture. In this essay I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own point of view.

On the one hand, some individuals believe that governments are facing population problems as a result of long living life of most of the citizens. To elaborate it, they argue that for people who stay long in terms of life would grab a lot of advantages and they have burden on the government funds. Furthermore, most of them had retired from their duties and get facilities and extra services. For instance, most of the Pakistani elders had retired from their jobs and still alive and get their pension and services funds. As a result, government have a lot of challenges by provided these pension and services for the old retired people.

On the other hand, few people believe that older people has the beauty of our society. In the other words, they consider longer living as a gift from god and respect every elder person in their society. Moreover, they often focus to pay more attention for these people as well as they can learn old culture from them. To cite an example, most of our grandparents are often talking about their hard work and dedications in their old life. Resultantly, the new generation can learn culture and ethics from their grandparents if they are alive at time.

In my point of view, I strongly believe that our parents has very valuable asset for our society as well as they have spend their capital and time for us when we have not any source of income, however we all have required to care about them and give respect for them. Obviously, the benefits of having an aging people outweigh the drawbacks.

In conclusion, most people argue that aging provide problems for authorities by spending extra money on them. While other believe that older people are very beneficial for us by learning the our culture from them. In stark contrast, I firmly believe that our grandparents had very benefits of having with us, because they spend their time and money for us, when we are child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the economic burden on governments and the cultural value of the elderly, the arguments remain at a surface level. For example, the discussion on pension funds is repetitive, and the cultural argument lacks depth regarding how this impacts society at a macro level. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced analysis, such as discussing the impact on healthcare systems or the potential for intergenerational knowledge transfer in the workforce.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the argument. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In the other words' or 'Resultantly.' Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and some sentences within paragraphs do not flow smoothly, which makes the overall structure feel a bit rigid rather than fluid.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'long living life' and 'aging people,' which are not natural collocations. There are also instances of word-choice errors, such as 'grab a lot of advantages' and 'have very benefits.' To improve, focus on using more sophisticated academic vocabulary and collocations, such as 'demographic shift,' 'fiscal strain,' or 'intergenerational wisdom.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('older people has,' 'parents has very valuable asset'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('when we have not any source of income'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic agreement and tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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