Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The noticeable trend is people ages are getting prolong than before. There has been considerable debate about aged people that they are becoming burden on government. While other people have opinion that they are indispensable for society. I firmly believe that having elder people in the house are blessing of our houses and outweigh the disadvantages.
Admittedly, critics argue that old people who are retired from their positions and not working are depending on government or their young ones. For instance, after retirement, pension is assigned to these person, so that vast amount of money is given to antiquated citizens, which affect detrimentally in the economy of states. They may also get burden on their young ones, their a lot of time, energy, money are taken by their aged ones.
In contrast, some people have strong believe that elderly people are beneficial for society, that they are blessing of house, may help in home planning, young ones can learn much more through their experiences, can guide for the better future of family and business. To illustrate that, in the contemporary world, most of the parents are doing jobs, having babies, toddlers, teenagers. They are unable to give their complete attention to young ones, for that their grandparents are available, taking care, guiding them in every aspect of life. From the house chores till the business development they can guide and share their experience with freshers.
Despite of some disadvantages, advantages are by far more because the do not only assist others also are the true well wishers of their family members
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the disadvantages (economic burden) and advantages (family support and wisdom) of an aging population. However, the development is somewhat superficial. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the arguments in the body paragraphs lack depth and specific, well-developed examples. For instance, the mention of 'business development' is vague and not clearly linked to the role of the elderly. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations and concrete evidence rather than relying on general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Admittedly', 'In contrast', and 'To illustrate that' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the final sentence is incomplete and lacks a proper concluding thought, which affects the overall coherence. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'for that their grandparents are available', where the connection to the previous clause is weak. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the logical progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive or slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'getting prolong' instead of 'increasing' or 'living longer', and 'antiquated citizens' which is not the correct collocation for elderly people. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'pension' and 'contemporary world', there are frequent errors in word choice that occasionally make the meaning slightly opaque. Focusing on learning collocations and more sophisticated synonyms will help you express your ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('having elder people... are blessing'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction ('they may also get burden on their young ones'). Additionally, there are punctuation errors and incomplete sentences, particularly in the conclusion. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency of the writing. You should focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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