Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays,people are living long their lives because of good health security in many countries.It may have many disadvantages for the government of that country due to over population threat.While it may have advantages too as it is beneficial to have elderly people to many extent.However,there are more advantages as compared to disadvantages of having more elderly people.
In the way of having advantages, It is the major benefit of elderly people that they help young people to get inform about the past.WE came to know how our martyrs got ,martyred and how much efforts they had put in getting these faculties.For instance,our Pakistani martyrs devote their lives in order to keep our country safe and secure.We have this knowledge just because of our elderly people or books ,As books have also knowledge due to elders.
Another advantage is that our elders have as much experience about everything that they can help us in many cases of life like in married life or in student life.We have to struggle very much in our life .Our dear elders advise us to stay calm in every aspect of our life.For an example,if we are sick and there is no known cure for our disease sometimes it may get beneficial to act upon our elders advice.
There may be many problems for our government if there is aging population .First of all a major problem is over-population. Some countries face many difficulties like lack of food due to high rate of population in their country.This occurs because these countries are developing and they have low risk of death due to disease.According to my knowledge,China had faced a lot of difficulties due to population over rate.
In conclusion,problem of an aging population is only in developing countries because they have cure of every diseases and they don't let any sick elder to die.They treat them as soon as possible. On the other hand,it gives advantages to our youth as they get mercy from their elders and listen many interesting stories about their past.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'over-population' as a disadvantage of an aging population is logically flawed, as aging populations typically correlate with declining birth rates rather than over-population. The position is clear, but the supporting examples, such as the mention of martyrs, are not fully integrated into the context of the global aging phenomenon. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more relevant socio-economic impacts, such as healthcare costs or pension burdens, rather than general anecdotes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In the way of having advantages' are unnatural. There are also issues with punctuation, specifically missing spaces after commas and periods (e.g., 'Nowadays,people', 'past.WE'). While there is a logical progression from advantages to disadvantages, the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, which hinders the flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing and some word-choice errors, such as 'get inform' instead of 'become informed' and 'population over rate' instead of 'high population growth'. There is also a tendency to repeat words like 'elderly' and 'advantages' without using synonyms or more sophisticated collocations. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and social policy, and work on using more natural word combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'the aging population'), and awkward phrasing. Punctuation is a significant weakness, with many instances of missing spaces after punctuation marks, which makes the text difficult to read. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic mechanical errors would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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