Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely acknowleged that people are living longer in present than in the past. A few people think that elder people create problems for legal authorities, while others argue that elder people are beneficial for community. I firmly believe that the advantages of having an aging populaion outweigh the disadvantages. The reasons are explained in upcoming paragraph with relevant examples.

One compelling argument is that elder people helps to provide right path to youngesters. This point is largely contributed to the fact that, by spending major time with grandparents, young people can gain better experience for their life. They learn good values and good habits. Therefore, it helps them to dont become the victim of bad habits. Secondly, old people also contribute to revenue of the government. To explain it, sometimes old people are more likely to retired from their jobs. As a result of it, they get large amount of pensions and pay taxes to government. For example if there are grandparents in house then children are more tend to spend time with them instead of using mobile phones.

Nevertheless, there is also a burden on authorities to provide best health facilities to old people. This point is further bolstered by the fact that, by focusing more on providing more facilities to aged people, goverment can become the victim of heavy debts. Thus, it reduces the revenue of authorties.

Ultimately, it is clear that although old people create some problems for regulatory bodies, i think that they helps to teaches the good values of life and contributes to economic development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding the economic contribution of the elderly is logically flawed, as the student suggests that retirees contribute to government revenue through taxes on pensions, which is a misunderstanding of economic principles. Furthermore, the point about grandparents preventing children from using mobile phones is a weak, anecdotal example that lacks depth. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments require more logical rigor and relevant, real-world examples to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'One compelling argument', 'Secondly', and 'Nevertheless'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical transitions and some awkward phrasing. For instance, the transition 'This point is largely contributed to the fact that' is grammatically incorrect and impacts the natural flow of ideas. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is more precise.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'acknowleged', 'populaion', and 'authorties'. Additionally, some word choices are unnatural or imprecise, such as 'legal authorities' to refer to governments and 'major time' instead of 'a significant amount of time'. The student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, but the lack of control over collocation and spelling limits the overall effectiveness of the lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('elder people helps', 'they helps to teaches'), incorrect verb forms ('tend to spend', 'are more likely to retired'), and awkward phrasing ('youngesters', 'dont become the victim'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from achieving a higher score. More attention to proofreading for subject-verb agreement and tense consistency is necessary.

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