Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world the life expectancy of many countries has increased due to good quality of atmosphere and services provided by the government of the respective state. However, some people believe that an aging population creates problems for governments while others argue that there are benefits if society has more elderly people. This essay will discuss both points of view before giving my own opinion.

On one hand, it is said that people over the age of 65 are a burden on government. It might be possible because the population in which there are more elderly people puts pressure on the government as they demand services such as healthcare. Elderly suffers more from chronic diseases such as dementia, cancer and diabetes etc so healthcare centers require a huge amount of money to treat them and that money comes from the taxes of the youth. Moreover, when people reach 65 years or above they might face difficulty in mobility so they demand their children or grandchildren to take care of them as they themselves can not walk or stand so in many households people spend time with their elderly parents or grandparents so they can't focus on work which effects the national economy due to negligence of young workforce.

On the other hand, having elderly in the society proves to be beneficial because elder people are more experienced and have knowledge about every aspect of life so they can motivate younger generation in their mental wellbeing. Moreover, when the population has more older people government increases the age of retirement so that they can contribute in income generation of the country and serves the country for a longer period of time.

In my opinion, having elderly people in a society is good as long as it does not affect the young generation. Government should implement policies such as pro-natal policies so that there are more youth and children as compared to elderly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, acknowledging both the challenges and benefits of an aging population. You clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'negligence of young workforce' is a bit of a leap and lacks specific evidence or a more nuanced explanation. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting points are fully explored rather than just stated. The conclusion introduces a new idea (pro-natal policies) which was not previously discussed; it is better to summarize your main points rather than adding new suggestions at the very end.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Moreover' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences can sometimes feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise (e.g., 'It might be possible because...'). The progression of ideas is logical, but the connection between the economic impact of elderly care and the 'negligence of young workforce' needs to be more explicitly linked to ensure a smoother logical flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'life expectancy,' 'chronic diseases,' and 'income generation.' There are some instances of slightly awkward phrasing, such as 'good quality of atmosphere' and 'elderly suffers,' which should be 'the elderly suffer.' While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some word choices are imprecise. To improve, focus on collocations and ensure that plural/singular agreement is consistent when using collective nouns like 'the elderly.' The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the government of the respective state'), subject-verb agreement ('elderly suffers'), and punctuation (missing commas in complex sentences). Some sentences are slightly run-on or lack necessary prepositions. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding pluralization and the correct use of articles before nouns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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