Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Many people argues that in different regions, individuals are living longer than the past and these people also think old aged population creates hurdles for authorities. Other people believe that aging population are benefical for their society. Aging people creates problems for government because after the retirement, authorities are responsiblity to provide sufficient funds to old people. Old aged people also benefits the society in case of taking care for their childrens and aslo join local community to give lessons of real life.
On the one hand, aging population is a kind of difficulity of government because they are giving funding and also providing health care facilities to people above 60. So authorities faced hurdles to provide funds and medical facilities because countries population is growing and economy is also affecting. For instance, in Pakistan the old aged people who are retired from government orgainzation recieve a monthly pension by government, that why national authority face problems in arranging funds.
On the other hand, elderly people are benefical for society because these people have an eye on every individuals, additionally guide younger generation about real life. Older people also taught the lessons which are benefical for younger individuals in the future, furthermore old people join the community groups to have a conservation about the present issues related to society. For example, grand parents benefits the family in case of taking care of childern.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that aging population are benefical for society because guiding younger citizens about pratical life and having a check/balance in society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While you provide a clear position, the arguments regarding the 'benefits' are quite general and could be supported with more specific, nuanced examples beyond childcare. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points made. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph explores the implications of your points more deeply rather than simply listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal transitions. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'that why national authority face problems'. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more fluidly rather than relying on simple additive conjunctions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'old aged population', 'benefical', 'conservation' (instead of conversation), and 'pratical life'. You rely on a limited set of descriptive terms. To improve, focus on learning more precise academic collocations and ensure correct spelling, as the current errors occasionally distract the reader from the content.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Many people argues', 'aging population are'), article usage, and missing prepositions. For example, 'authorities are responsiblity' should be 'authorities are responsible'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with correct verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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