Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The growing influence people are now living longer modern society has sparked various debates. This issue is particularly significant because its impact affect individuals and communities in multiple ways. In this easy, i will discuss aging population creates and problems for governments advantage and disadvantage aspects and their implications society.

One of the key benefits older aging people living in high level experience. High age people provide a better solution is many problems. But also provide a better knowledge the sharing the family member. Many benefits children have the dropped the school and dropped the many things. The sharing family member and culture solution is that its promotes and access to a wide range of opportunities family member. This is also evident from the fact society people promotes cultures harm benefits understander tolerance problem solving methods in home.

However, despite the benefits, many family member should not a provide a other facilities as a medicine knowledge. Some people provide a low level life and older shifting old age homes rest. The government does not promotes old age people no medicine ono provide free and other of opportunities. The government and family member provide a some facilities and medicine new clothes. Children should provide a parents other works helps in other problem the managed.

In conclusion older ages has many experience and knowledge. A people support on older ages people sharing a family problems provide both significant advantage notable challenges and its depends on how effectively it is managed for society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the topic of an aging population, but the development of ideas is significantly hampered by unclear expression and a lack of logical depth. While you mention both benefits and drawbacks, the arguments are often disjointed or difficult to follow, such as the vague points regarding children dropping out of school. The position is not clearly maintained throughout the essay, and the connection between the aging population and government policy is superficial. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-explained idea supported by relevant examples rather than listing fragmented thoughts.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the logical progression of ideas is weak. Many sentences lack clear links, making the transition between points abrupt or confusing. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'family member' and 'the sharing'. Referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader to guess the intended meaning. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'high age people' instead of 'the elderly' or 'senior citizens', and 'medicine knowledge' which is unclear. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas about social or economic issues effectively. You rely heavily on basic words, and the misuse of terms often impedes the reader's understanding. Expanding your vocabulary to include topic-specific collocations related to demographics and social policy would greatly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'its impact affect'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack a clear grammatical core, which makes the writing difficult to parse. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, these are often faulty and lead to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction—ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb—before attempting more complex, compound-complex structures. Proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency is essential.

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