Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Average life ratio is escalate among few countries. Some countries where older population is increasing with the passage of time. It is becoming difficult for governments to take care of them. According to research in 2024 the averge porpostion of older people increase by 10% ratherthan last two decades.

I support the opinion aging populatiom creates more hurdles for goverments. Due to some points which i noticed i give that statement. What i noticed among soceities that elder people looks burden for the governance as well as families. Families have to hire someone to look after of them therefore, it creates a financial problem. Young people and middle aged people are working so they can contribute positively in their country's Growth. Young working people are reason to grow GDP. Older people are burden on GDP. A family who is having an older cannot go anywhere togather at once. One among of them have to stay that they don not feel lonliness. Older people are senstive to weather conditions, it may affect them badly. Also they suffer from different diseases. They need medical emergencies.

On the other hand some people argue that having older ones in society is blessing. The older ones already spend life so thought is that they can give better advise. Firstly, if someone have older people in family their family may enjoy more unity. For support their opinion they quote " Old is Gold". Older one are not burden on GDP. Its the duty of government to care of them. They have served their country in youth and country should serve thenm in old age.

In conclusion every aspect have positive and negitive side . It is menadtory if a country is having older one so its responsibility of government to accomodate them however, Its been difficult for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is limited and often relies on generalizations. For instance, the argument that elderly people are a 'burden on GDP' is stated but not explored with sufficient depth or nuance. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack specific examples or logical depth. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed explanations and perhaps a real-world example of how a specific country is managing this demographic shift.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. Phrases like 'Due to some points which i noticed i give that statement' are awkward and do not effectively link ideas. The transition between the negative aspects and the positive aspects is abrupt. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'conversely') would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'Average life ratio is escalate' (should be 'life expectancy is increasing') and 'older one' (should be 'the elderly' or 'older people'). The repetition of basic terms like 'burden' and 'older people' limits the sophistication of the essay. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to demographics and social policy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('elder people looks burden'), missing articles ('having an older'), and incorrect sentence structures ('One among of them have to stay that they don not feel lonliness'). While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and spelling mistakes (e.g., 'menadtory', 'accomodate').

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