Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is commonly believe that life expectancy has increased significantly in recent years, leading to the demographic shift towards and older populations. While a higher proportion of senior citizens place considerable economic and logistic strain on public services, I believe that the societal and family benefits of an ageing population ultimately outweigh drawbacks.
On the one hand, a growing elderly demographic poses notable challenges for governments. The primary drawbacks is the increasing burden on healthcare sector and public expenditure. As people age, they are more susceptible to chronic health conditions, requiring ongoing medical care and long term support, which can strain hospital infrastructure. Furthermore, a smaller working age population results in reduced tax base, making it more difficult for state finances to fund raising pension and social security schemes. If it left unmanagable, this imbalance can show overall economic growth.
On the other hand, the contribution of elderly people to society are invaluable. Firstly many senior citizens continue to pay an essential role within the family structure by assisting with childcare and domestic duties. The enables younger parents remain in the workforce, thereby boosting household productivity and reducing childcare cost. Secondly retires people often contribute extensively to the society through the volunteer work, charity engagement, civic leadership and filling roles, which is overall work on community growth. Finally, senior citizens are ideal person of the country on the professional and life experience, posting them to act as a mentor and advisor, ensuring the knowledge and cultural wisdom and effective for the younger generation.
In conclusion, although an senior population undoubtedly presents serious financial and healthcare challenges for the government, these can be mitigate with a effective policy and planing and retirement options. The social cohesion and child support and wealth of experience provide by elderly citizens offer long term advantages that far outweigh the economic hurdles.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the benefits of an ageing population outweigh the drawbacks. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly the discussion on family support and community contribution. However, some points, such as the economic impact, could be more deeply explored to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and suggests that challenges can be mitigated, which reinforces the overall stance. The essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'Finally' are used effectively to link ideas. However, there are occasional instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some referencing is a bit repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sides of the argument, contributing to the overall coherence of the piece.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with some good collocations like 'demographic shift', 'chronic health conditions', and 'social cohesion'. There are, however, some inaccuracies in word choice and form, such as 'The enables younger parents' (should be 'This enables') and 'ideal person of the country' (which is awkward phrasing). While the range is sufficient to convey complex ideas, there are occasional errors in word choice that slightly detract from the precision of the argument. The vocabulary is adequate but lacks the consistent sophistication required for a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('The primary drawbacks is', 'contribution of elderly people... are') and minor slips in articles and prepositions ('an senior population', 'with a effective policy'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication or cause confusion for the reader. The writer shows an attempt at complex structures, but the control over these is not entirely consistent, leading to the current band placement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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