Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that people are now living a longer life than before. Some people are of the view that an aging population can be problematic for the governments. And other people assume that senior citizens can contribute to the society in a positive way. I strongly believe that aging population can have more benefits than drawbacks.

To begin with, elder people are assets of our society and younger generations can learn from their experiences, but elder people should never impose any kind of rules or restrictions on young people. People should be allowed to have their own share of experiences rather than blindly following advice from older people or imitating what their ancestors have been doing. People who have been on earth for longer can give out their health and fitness secrets, which can have positive impacts on people who are still in their early twenties or thirties. One other advantage of having aged or experienced people in your country could be that that you will have aspirational people to actually look up to which can be quite encouraging for other people as well. And there will be more people working in different sectors of industries or companies therefore there will never be shortage of workers or employees

On the other hand, I believe that rising population can be detrimental to the economy. The need for resources will be higher which can negatively contribute to the pollution for instance the increased usage of coal or oil in industries will cause environmental damages. Another issue that the governments might face as the population increase, is to combat with too much traffic because of which, noise pollution can occur as there will be more people using vehicles.

In conclusion, despite the fact that there can be a rise of population because of people living longer and it can take a toll on the country's economy, but I strongly condemn that elders can contribute significantly to the society by serving as role models for the younger generations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits are discussed, the arguments regarding the disadvantages are slightly off-topic; for instance, linking an aging population to increased coal and oil usage or traffic congestion is not logically sound, as these issues are generally associated with total population growth rather than specifically an aging demographic. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting points directly relate to the specific implications of an older society, such as healthcare costs or pension burdens, rather than general environmental or urban planning concerns.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For example, the transition 'To begin with' is followed by a paragraph that lacks smooth internal flow, and the final sentence of the conclusion is grammatically disjointed, making the summary of your argument difficult to follow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'detrimental' and 'aspirational'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'give out their health and fitness secrets' and 'take a toll on the country's economy' (which is used correctly but in a slightly informal context). To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid phrasal verbs or overly conversational phrasing to elevate the tone of your essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'elder people' (should be 'the elderly' or 'older people'), 'combat with too much traffic' (should be 'combat traffic'), and the concluding sentence which contains a major structural error: 'I strongly condemn that elders can contribute...'. This phrasing is incorrect as 'condemn' implies disapproval, whereas you clearly mean to express support. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining your use of complex sentence structures will help improve your accuracy.

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