Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries , people lives longer than ever before. Some people say ageing population creates problem for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Which is true in some cases but having more oldies than younger can creates problem.

firstly we will talk about merits of having ageing population. The benefits of having senior citizens in country can gives many pros like migrating of immigrants from other its the biggest advantage of having older people when they were retired from their jobs the talent from different country can contribute and gives there best for the country. And the older people have more experience than youth they can teach them to how to worker etc. Many people take lesson from there elder specially in the subcontinent ageing population is very respectful to us and the major benefits of senior citizen is that they can take care of children of their own kids.

If there are advantages of ageing people so there is demerits also. If the ageing population outweigh the younger population so there were many consequences can appear if we take the example of Japan there are more senior citizen than junior so government have to pay more pensions to ageing people then salaries more and more people are retiring from there jobs and there were lack of employes and collegues to do work so the Japan offer immigration to youth to work for them so this is a big problem for them.

Having senior citizen is good but if they were increase more than the young generation so it will creates the problem for the country

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is limited. For instance, the argument regarding immigrants is unclear and lacks logical connection to the topic of an aging population. The position is stated but not consistently maintained or fully extended. The explanation of the disadvantages, while using Japan as an example, remains somewhat superficial. To improve, you should ensure that each point is clearly explained with a logical link to the prompt and provide more detailed supporting evidence for your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'firstly we will talk about' and 'If there are advantages of ageing people so there is demerits also.' The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the first body paragraph where the transition between the role of immigrants and the role of elders in childcare is abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track the subject of certain sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There is a reliance on basic terms like 'pros', 'good', and 'problem'. Some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as 'migrating of immigrants' and 'oldies'. There are also issues with word forms, such as 'ageing population creates problem' instead of 'problems'. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring correct collocations, such as 'demographic shift' or 'economic burden'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('people lives', 'it will creates'), missing articles, and incorrect tense usage ('can gives', 'there were lack of employes'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be highly beneficial.

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