Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The given line chart illustrates information during 2014, about the average changes in the charges in comparison with previous month of three different metallic element.

Overall, сopper was the metal with the most stable pattern compared with others. Whereas nickel experienced significant changes over the monthes.

In January, copper saw a 2% price change, compared with 6% for nickel. By contrast, zinc had the smallest change, at just over 1%. By the end of the month, copper had declined to about 1%, while nickel had fallen dramatically to just over 4% and zinc to 2%. In March, copper had decreased to over 0.5%, while nickel had more than halved to about 1% and zinc had dropped to 2%. In April, copper and nickel did not face any changes, while zinc had decreased to just over 1.5%. After that, all three metals fall steadily, copper to just below -0.5%, nickel to over 0.5%, and zinc to 1.5%. In June, nickel and zinc had fallen significantly to over -3% and -1% respectively, while copper remained unchanged.

In July, three metals rose, with nickel increasing sharply to -1%, copper to 1%, and zinc to about -0.5%. By contrast, all three models did not face any changes until September. In October, nickel fallen sharply to just about -2%, zinc to -1%, and copper to over 0.5%. By the end of the month, nickel and zinc increased dramatically to over 1% and 1.5% respectively, while copper remained unchanged. In December, nickel did not face any changes, while zinc grown to 2%, and copper to about 1.3%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an essay discussing the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, but the student has written a report describing a line chart about metal prices. As the response fails to address the task prompt entirely, it cannot be assessed for task achievement in the context of the essay question. According to IELTS criteria, a response that is completely unrelated to the task must be awarded a band score of 1.0 for Task Achievement as it does not address the requirements of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is logically organized as a report, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In January', 'By contrast', and 'After that' helps to guide the reader through the data. However, because the content is entirely irrelevant to the actual essay task, the coherence is applied to a task that was not set. Within the context of the writing provided, the progression of ideas is clear, but the failure to address the prompt is the primary issue.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for describing trends in a graph, using terms like 'stable pattern', 'significant changes', 'declined', and 'increased dramatically'. There are some minor errors, such as 'monthes' (months) and 'three metals' (the three metals). While the range is sufficient for a data description task, it does not demonstrate the level of vocabulary required for an argumentative essay on social issues, as the topic-specific vocabulary for the actual prompt is entirely absent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'nickel fallen sharply' (should be 'fell'), 'zinc grown to' (should be 'grew'), and 'three metals rose' (should be 'the three metals'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the control over verb tenses and articles is inconsistent. While the sentences are understandable, the grammatical control is limited, and the errors are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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