Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line chart illustrates information in 2014, about the average changes in the charges in comparison with the previous month of three different metallic elements.

Overall, сopper was the metal with the most stable pattern compared with others. Whereas nickel experienced significant changes over the months.

In January, copper saw a 2% price change, compared with 6% for nickel. By contrast, zinc had the smallest change, at just over 1%. By the end of the month, copper had declined to about 1%, while nickel had fallen dramatically to just over 4% and zinc to 2%. In March, copper had decreased to over 0.5%, while nickel had more than halved to about 1% and zinc had dropped to 2%. In April, copper and nickel did not face any changes, while zinc had decreased to just over 1.5%. After that, all three metals fell steadily, copper to just below -0.5%, nickel to over 0.5%, and zinc to 1.5%. In June, nickel and zinc had fallen significantly to over -3% and -1% respectively, while copper remained unchanged.

In July, the three metals rose, with nickel increasing sharply to -1%, copper to 1%, and zinc to about -0.5%. By contrast, all three metals did not face any changes until September. In October, nickel fell sharply to just about -2%, zinc to -1%, and copper to over 0.5%. By the end of the month, nickel and zinc increased dramatically to over 1% and 1.5% respectively, while copper remained unchanged. In December, nickel did not face any changes, while zinc grown to 2%, and copper to about 1.3%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an essay regarding the social and economic implications of an aging population, but you have written a report describing a line chart about metal prices. Because you have failed to address the task requirements entirely, this response cannot be assessed for Task Response in the context of the essay prompt. In an actual exam, this would result in a score of 0 for Task Response as it is a memorised or irrelevant response to the specific question asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is organised into paragraphs and uses some cohesive devices such as 'In January', 'By contrast', and 'After that'. While the internal structure of the report is logical and follows the data chronologically, the lack of relevance to the actual essay prompt means the coherence is applied to the wrong task. Within the context of the report itself, the progression is clear, but it does not fulfill the requirements of an argumentative essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a reasonable range of vocabulary suitable for describing data, such as 'fluctuated', 'declined', 'remained unchanged', and 'increased sharply'. However, there are some awkward collocations and minor errors, such as 'zinc grown to 2%' (should be 'grew') and 'charges in comparison with' (should be 'price changes'). The vocabulary is adequate for a data description task but does not demonstrate the range required for an argumentative essay on social issues.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'zinc grown to 2%' instead of 'grew', and 'all three metals did not face any changes' which is slightly unnatural. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the sentence variety is limited to describing trends. While the grammar is sufficient to convey the meaning of the data, it lacks the complexity and precision expected for a high-level essay.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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