Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, life expectancy has increased significantly over the past few decades. Some people think that aged people are creating problems for governments while other think that society can be benefited by them. I strongly believe that older people are an asset because they have more knowledge about anything like life experience and they can also provide valuable advice which maybe beneficial for us.

The people who think that older creates problem in society, they might seen the aged people as a burden. They think that the old people can not do their own work properly so they may not able to participate any productive work rather they will messed up everything. Moreover, many of the aged people are dependent on their children because of illness so it is definitely a problem for them. As a result, the children left their parents in old-aged home or in the roads. For this reason, a peaceful environment is hampered and the government face many problems like they had to manage food, shelter for them.

However, older people have more experience and can provide valuable advices to us. As they have experienced life more, so they know better anything than us. They can provide information regarding education, health or political overviews. They can also take care of their grandchildren as they have more spare time. They can also do some productive works like making homemade products, crafts, taking care of indoor plants, writing books and so on. For example my grandmother is more than 70 years old but she is very active person and have converted my balcony into a garden. Moreover, she loves to grow seasonal fruits and vegetables. So doing this, she made herself as a productive worker.

In conclusion, older people are not always a problem if they remain self dependent and productive. In addition, they can be beneficial for us by sharing their experiences and advices.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and supported by personal examples, such as the mention of the grandmother's gardening. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; the discussion on the 'problems' for governments is a bit superficial, and the arguments could be extended with more depth or broader societal context. The position is consistent throughout, but the essay would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the economic or social implications to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, although some sentences are slightly disjointed. Overall, the information is arranged coherently, and the paragraphing is appropriate for the task, though the flow between sentences could be improved for better cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There is some attempt to use topic-specific language like 'life expectancy' and 'productive worker'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'they might seen' (should be 'might see') and 'messed up everything', which is too informal for an academic essay. The use of 'advices' is a common error, as 'advice' is an uncountable noun. Expanding the range of vocabulary would help improve the precision of the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('older creates problem'), tense usage ('they might seen'), and article usage. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors that occasionally distract the reader. The control of complex structures is inconsistent, and the frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and refining sentence construction would be highly beneficial.

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