Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
They have many countries in the world but in some of countries, nowadays people are living more as compare the past. Although some might consider ageing population creates a difficulties for government . On the other hand some people believe that the presence of elderly people are benefits for society. Hence, I believe that I believe that it have a more advantages than disadvantages not only for industries benefit, young people and also because economic.
There are multiple advantages associated with tis. Firstly, industries benefit can be consider as the leading advantage of this. As elder people have a more work skill as compare the young people. Take an International Company of Nepal, predicted the they earn 20 millions in 2030, with the help of elderly workers. Thus, this mega benefit I believe has the potential to make this development a positive development.
Secondly, apart form industries benefit, economic can also be another major benefit. As elder people are more hard work so it help to contribute 40 percent of economic growth. Take an example of China, in 1989 elder people contribute 70 million dollar in they country economy. Hence, this benefit lead this development was positive development.
To sum up, even though this might have some drawbacks too, but I believe that the benefit it bring in term of industries and economic.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing advantages, the arguments are underdeveloped and rely on unsupported, illogical statistics (e.g., '20 millions in 2030' or '70 million dollar in 1989'). The position is stated, but the lack of depth and the failure to address the 'disadvantages' side of the prompt in any meaningful way results in a partial response. To improve, you must provide more detailed explanations and ensure the essay reaches the required length.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', but the overall flow is hindered by repetitive phrasing and awkward transitions. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression of ideas is weak because the supporting evidence is disconnected from the main points. Referencing is often unclear, such as in the phrase 'this mega benefit I believe has the potential to make this development a positive development,' which is redundant and lacks clarity. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would help improve the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'benefit' and 'elder people' without variation. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'industries benefit' instead of 'industrial benefits' and 'economic' used as a noun instead of 'the economy'. Some phrases are unnatural, such as 'more work skill'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise academic terms and collocations, and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the presence of elderly people are benefits') and article usage (e.g., 'in they country economy'). Sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity, such as 'Although some might consider ageing population creates a difficulties for government.' The repetition of 'I believe' and the fragmented concluding sentence also demonstrate a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a good starting point.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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