Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries, humans are now living more than ever before. few people say an ageing populations creates more problems for society. while other people think that more elderly people are benefits for society.

Im absulitely agred with the view point elderly people are more benefit for the society,now a days.

elderly people have more experience of living and they have so much skills and ability to solving problems like social problems, natural problems, and political matters so they give best guidances to solve problems and also they have motivating skills so it help to give motivating lectures and speach to the peoples and youngsters for motivating and carrier guidance and elder people lead any event and group better then youngster for example now a days NGO,Dairy farming, and farming are mainly lead by elder peoples in all the countries and they earn milions of money by this money and contributing in the society by income tax and donation also in all the field it lead and trained new peoples by elder people.

now a days older people not sit at home and make any burden to other but it work as worker they take care of his grandchild and care of his house and family some of alos earn money as doing jobs like cleaner, social worker, motivational speaker, store cashiers and many more.

conclusion, elder peoples does not make probelms in society but they give more support to the society and they giving more contribute then others in the society

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the advantages of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages, focusing mainly on the experience, guidance, and economic contributions of elderly people. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the student mentions that elderly people help with social, natural, and political problems, but these points are stated broadly without concrete, well-developed examples. The discussion on farming and NGOs is relevant, but overall, the arguments remain generalized and lack deeper elaboration. Therefore, this performance aligns closely with Band 5, as the task is addressed, but the ideas are underdeveloped and the position, while clear in intent, suffers from a lack of extension and support.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers from significant organizational issues that impede smooth progression. The essay is divided into very short, fragmented paragraphs, including a one-sentence introduction and a brief, comma-spliced conclusion. Punctuation and capitalization are frequently mishandled, such as beginning sentences with lower-case letters ('Im', 'elderly', 'now a days', 'conclusion'). Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, resulting in run-on sentences like the long third paragraph, which strings multiple clauses together with coordinating conjunctions without proper pausing or structuring. There is some overall topic arrangement, but the lack of clear paragraphing and logical connectors places this text at Band 4.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying on general words like 'things', 'problems', and 'people' rather than precise academic terms. There are frequent word-form and collocation errors, such as 'ageing populations' instead of 'aging population', 'absulitely agred' instead of 'absolutely agreed', 'ability to solving' instead of 'ability to solve', and 'milions of money' instead of 'millions of dollars' or 'substantial revenues'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'motivational speaker' and 'carrier guidance' (career guidance), but spelling and lexical inaccuracies are noticeable and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. This performance sits comfortably within Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatically, the response demonstrates a very limited range of structures. The text relies heavily on simple sentences or poorly controlled compound-complex sentences linked by comma splices and conjunctions like 'and'. Frequent errors occur across basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('elder peoples does not make'), pronoun usage ('it work as worker they take care of his'), and tense consistency. Punctuation is largely neglected, with missing periods and commas used incorrectly to join independent clauses. These persistent, frequent errors cause noticeable strain for the reader, matching the profile for Band 4.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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