Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In most of the nations, nowadays elderly death rates have decreased steadily, and it is frequently proposed that aging populations have lead to a negative impact on the higher authorities while, the other population believe that old people are beneficial for the society. From my perspective, I do agree that fall in the death rates have led to high populations. However, I also believe that senior citizens plays a vital role in the society.

On the one hand, we can analyse that older people around us have been into physical activities such has exercises, gym, morning walks and so on that assist them in their daily lives which has made the death rate of older people to fall due to their physical and mental fitness. This has made a serious concern among the state. As the new generations are coming and the birth rates have increased, this has created a problem in employment, as the government also have to increase the retirement age because of a large number of senior citizens which might be a problem for young adults who are willing to apply for employment.

On the other hand, elderly people plays a crucial part in society. Mostly they are parents, grand parents or uncle and aunts to young generation. They are the most experienced citizens, they know everything about life, how to deal with things and so on. They can be a great source of advice for the adolescents and teenagers because they have gone through with every single part of life that is experienced by everyone. In traditional homes, such as Asian homes, the older adults have bought all the family members together and explain how important a family is. So they keep the old traditional cultures and traits alive in a family which creates a strong bond.

In conclusion, I would like to propose that the advantages of elderly people are more than their disadvantages and the reason is that they can help an individual about how to live their life according to their family customs and religion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population, and presents a clear position. In the introduction, the writer states that they agree the rise in life expectancy causes population pressures, but also highlights that senior citizens play a vital role in society. The body paragraphs attempt to explore both economic concerns, such as retirement age and employment for young adults, and cultural benefits, such as family bonding and passing down traditions. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or veer off into tangential tangents, such as the detailed mention of older people doing gym and morning walks. While the stance is maintained throughout, greater depth and more precise real-world examples would elevate this to a higher band. Overall, the task response is adequate and satisfies the prompt requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing separating the introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Standard cohesive devices are employed, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader through the argumentative structure. However, referencing and cohesion can occasionally feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as transitioning from physical fitness directly into government employment concerns. Pronoun referencing is sometimes vague, as seen in phrases like 'how to deal with things and so on'. Despite these minor flaws in logical progression, the organizational structure is easy to follow and meets the requirements for this band level.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'senior citizens', 'employment', and 'traditional cultures'. However, there are notable limitations and word-choice errors that prevent a higher score. For example, the phrase 'elderly death rates' is unnatural, and the writer writes 'have lead' instead of 'have led'. Other phrases like 'know everything about life' are overly colloquial and lack academic precision. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general meaning without impeding communication, the frequency of collocation errors and repetition places it firmly in the band 6 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied grammatical structures. Examples include concessive clauses introduced by 'Although' or 'While', and relative clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors scattered throughout the text. Notable errors include subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'senior citizens plays' instead of 'play', and tense/form inconsistencies like 'have bought all the family members together' instead of 'brought'. Punctuation is also occasionally faulty, with mismanaged commas disrupting the flow of complex sentences. Although these errors do not severely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the grammar score from reaching a band 7.

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