Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In different regions of the world, mortality rate is lower than before. The aged people benefits society , as they take care of their grandchildren so that the younger parents do their job with more attention. However, this advantages outweigh the disadvantages of elderly population as they put burden on job vacancies.
On the other hand, the elder people help in childcare, so the adolescent pay more attention to their work and feel relax without bearing work-life stress and anxiety. Additionally, help their children in bearing household expenditures, and guide them whenever they have disputed matters between them. For instance, in Pakistan and other some other Asian countries, the elder people help children in taking in childcare and also in paying for living expenses.
On the other hand, the aging population increases difficulties for government bodies, as they do not resign from their positions, consequently, more younger people not get jobs to earn their bread. This is a serious problem as the younger one have to struggle more to make both ends meet. Therefore, the capable young men remain deprived of their rights. For example, in Japan more population is comprised of elders and they hold the main positions in both government and private sector, therefore the younger people has to move to another countries to earn their bread.
In conclusion, despite of having many benefits of elderly people, however, there are more problems arise due to them, specially on job market. So, they create many obstacles in the progress of younger generation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student addresses all parts of the task, presenting both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and providing a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. Ideas are introduced and supported with relevant examples, such as childcare contributions and employment bottlenecks in Pakistan and Japan. However, some arguments lack full extension and suffer from slight over-generalisation. For instance, the discussion on job market stagnation could be explored with more nuance. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 6.0 as it addresses the prompt adequately, though certain ideas remain somewhat under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical paragraph structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a conclusion. However, cohesive devices are sometimes faulty or repetitive. Notably, the student uses the phrase 'On the other hand' twice consecutively to introduce body paragraphs, which weakens logical progression. Referencing and conjunctions occasionally feel mechanical or awkward, as seen in sentences like 'In conclusion, despite of having many benefits of elderly people, however, there are more problems arise'. These issues place the response firmly in the Band 6.0 category for this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting less common items such as 'mortality rate', 'work-life stress', and 'job vacancies'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, including 'The aged people benefits society', 'adolescent pay more attention' (referring to adults or parents), and 'more population is comprised of elders'. Additionally, spelling and grammatical form errors affect lexical precision (e.g., 'this advantages', 'feel relax', 'disputed matters'). These inaccuracies occasionally strain the reader, aligning the vocabulary performance with Band 5.5 or a solid 5.0, rounded to 5.5 for appropriate topic-specific attempts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some capability to construct multi-clause sentences. However, frequent grammatical and structural errors are present throughout the essay. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('mortality rate is lower', 'this advantages outweigh'), awkward phrasing ('more younger people not get jobs'), and incorrect prepositional use ('taking in childcare'). Furthermore, punctuation and sentence boundary issues are apparent, particularly in the run-on structure of the conclusion. While communication is not severely impeded, the high frequency of errors prevents the score from reaching Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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