Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Undoubtedly, living longer is an essential part of today's world. The growing influence of an aging population on our lives has sparked various debates. Some individuals believe it creates problems for governments, whilst

others opine that it brings many benefits. I partially agree with these statements, and I will explain my viewpoints along with a solid conclusion in the following deliberations.

To commence with, the first and foremost point that comes to my mind is healthcare costs To elaborate, governments spend more money on hospitals and medicine

Furthermore, pensions become a financial burden Moreover, fewer young workers pay taxes Public services may face extra pressure

Old-age care requires more trained staff

Housing and transport need better facilities

Families may also have more responsibilities

This can slow economic growth in some countries For example, according to a survey conducted by BBC News, many people agreed with this notion

On the other hand, elderly people have valuable experience They can guide younger generations Additionally, many seniors do volunteer work They support families by caring for grandchildren Their knowledge helps businesses and communities Older people preserve culture and traditions They can continue working in suitable jobs Society becomes more caring and inclusive

This creates social and economic benefits

For instance, as per the feedback gained by the Government of Australia, many people suggested it as an important step to be taken

Conclusion

To recapitulate, as every coin has two sides, similarly, this essay also has two sides. However, both should be taken into account, and none of them can be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, fulfilling the core requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas in the body paragraphs is severely hindered by a lack of elaboration. In the first body paragraph, the student simply lists a rapid succession of short, disconnected statements such as "governments spend more money on hospitals and medicine" and "Furthermore, pensions become a financial burden" without extending or explaining these points adequately. The examples provided, such as "according to a survey conducted by BBC News" and "as per the feedback gained by the Government of Australia," are vague and generic rather than providing concrete, specific illustrations. While a partial position is stated in the introduction, the conclusion merely repeats generic templates without synthesizing the arguments. Overall, the ideas are present but remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The organizational structure of the essay is flawed, particularly in the body paragraphs where cohesive devices and paragraphing are poorly managed. Instead of cohesive, well-structured paragraphs with clear thematic links, the central body consists of a bullet-point-like cascade of standalone sentences grouped together under two massive blocks. Sentences like "Old-age care requires more trained staff" and "Housing and transport need better facilities" follow one another without smooth transitions or adequate logical progression. Furthermore, the labelling of "Conclusion" explicitly within the text reflects a weak grasp of academic essay structure. While basic cohesive markers such as "To commence with" and "On the other hand" are used, the overall flow is mechanical, disjointed, and fails to guide the reader smoothly through a coherent argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and lacks the precision required for an academic task. The writer relies heavily on simple, high-frequency words and phrases such as "bring many benefits," "valuable experience," and "good jobs." While there are occasional attempts at less common vocabulary like "recapitulate" in the final section, the range is generally limited and repetitive. Words related to the topic, such as "problems," "benefits," and "people," are recycled excessively rather than substituted with appropriate synonyms or precise lexical items. Although the language is generally understandable and spelling is mostly accurate, the lexical control is restricted to a minimally adequate level for basic communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting predominantly of simple sentences and repetitive subject-verb patterns. Sentences tend to be short and structurally simplistic, such as "They support families by caring for grandchildren" and "Older people preserve culture and traditions." Attempts at complex or compound structures are rare and often formulaic, stemming from the student's reliance on elementary sentence frames. Punctuation is generally rudimentary, with several missing periods noted in the first body paragraph where independent clauses run directly into each other. While the basic grammatical errors do not completely obscure the meaning, the lack of structural variety and the repetitive error-free simple sentences place this performance firmly at Band 5.0.

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