Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, in severals continent individuals are now living longer than ever befor. some people say an aging populations creates problems for guverments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. i think both people views are equals but the advantage more than the disadvantages.
the severals advantages of people are now living longer than ever befor. first benifit is the people are high age and happy family. this is the good thing of the family. second benifits peole are now living longer than ever befor is travels the world for a time to memorise and the think. i thnik it is good for our generation. for example, if people are now living longer than ever before his family is happer so it is good for the society or people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people..
However, people are longer living it is creates the big problem for the generation because the high amounts of people are collwcting and problems for goverments it is the main problems. likewise problem are very much creates and not controls. so that the upstarcle for people are now living longer than ever before. some problems are food matesials, trasportation vehicals increasing than pollution has been increasing and libing space has minimum but people has been very much load this type of problems are phase in the people ar now leving in the ever before.
In coclusion, people are living longer than ever before than many problems are creates. so, it is very dangerous and the not controlls the goverments as weel as not satified the food materials. soit is big problem.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, expressing an opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is severely limited and lacks clarity. The introduction merely restates the prompt and vaguely asserts a position. The body paragraphs contain repetitive assertions rather than well-supported arguments. For instance, the discussion of advantages mentions family happiness and travelling, but these points are underdeveloped and expressed with significant repetition. Similarly, the disadvantages are framed around vague problems like food materials, transportation, and living space without clear elaboration or relevant examples. Because the ideas are underdeveloped and the arguments lack logical extension, this performance aligns closely with Band 5 descriptors for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The response shows some basic organization with distinct paragraph breaks, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used very mechanically and repetitively, often relying on phrases like 'first benifit' and 'second benifits' or 'However' and 'In coclusion'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult to follow the logical connections between sentences. For example, sentences such as 'for example, if people are now living longer than ever before his family is happer so it is good for the society' create a run-on structure that obscures the intended meaning and logical flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak and repetitive, preventing the response from reaching a higher band level.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on copied phrases from the prompt such as 'people are now living longer than ever before'. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, including 'severals', 'befor', 'guverments', 'equals', 'benifit', 'peole', 'happer', 'collwcting', 'goverments', 'upstarcle', 'libing', 'coclusion', 'as weel', 'satified', and 'soit'. Word choice is frequently inaccurate, such as using 'food matesials', 'trasportation vehicals', and 'libing space has minimum'. These noticeable lexical errors and limitations cause considerable difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at more complex structures are almost entirely faulty and lead to ungrammatical constructions, such as 'However, people are longer living it is creates the big problem' and 'so that the upstarcle for people are now living longer than ever before'. Punctuation is weak, with missing capitalisation at the beginnings of sentences and improper use of comma splices. Errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'populations creates', 'problems are very much creates'), and article usage are pervasive throughout the text and frequently impede communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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