Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many nations, individuals are now living for more period of time than ever

before. Some have an opinion that aging population created problems for governments. While others argue that having elderly people in a society is more beneficial. I would argue that there are more disadvantages of having an aging population.

If there are more number of older people in a nation, they are more likely

to get sick than younger people. As a result, government is supposed to spend

more funds on their medical treatment. More hospitals and medical stores are

required, in resulting more docotors and staff are to be hired. It will directly

affect the resources of a country as this share of money could be allocated for

building educational buildings so, they can gain modern skills. For instance,

the number of older people is increasing day by day in Japan so, government

is paying a significant of money for their treatment while can not much

focus on other serious issues of country.

However, having a more number of elderly people has also some advantages. Older people have great expertise in their relevant fields in which they have served for years. They can invent any great product in their field which can be proved beneficial for whole world. As a result a nation can own great respect in the world. Older people are more likely to establish foundations which can help youth financially in their education and professional lives.

To conclude, I acknowledge that having a number of elderly people in a nation

has some advantages but I would argue that there are more disadvantages as it can draw all the government attention towards it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population before taking a clear stance that disadvantages outweigh advantages. The position is maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are generally relevant, such as increased healthcare costs and the wisdom of older generations, but they lack full development and depth. For instance, the example of Japan touches on government spending, but the explanation remains somewhat generalized and could be enhanced with more precise elaboration. Furthermore, minor awkward phrasing like 'living for more period of time' slightly obscures nuance, yet the overall communicative intent is clearly achieved, aligning comfortably with the Band 6 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'As a result', 'However', and 'To conclude', though some linking is mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'in resulting more docotors and staff are to be hired'. Referencing is mostly clear, and the logical progression flows reasonably well from sentence to sentence, despite occasional minor abruptness in transitions. Overall, the organizational structure meets the criteria for Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'allocate', 'expertise', and 'foundations'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'living for more period of time', 'aging population created problems' (instead of 'creates'), 'a significant of money' (missing a noun like 'amount'), and the spelling error 'docotors'. While these lexical errors occur, they do not seriously impede communication, and the writer makes acceptable attempts at less common vocabulary, placing this response firmly at Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional structures and subordinate clauses ('If there are more number of older people...', 'While others argue that...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward structures throughout the text, including article omissions ('government is supposed to spend', 'other serious issues of country') and prepositional misuse. Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while the errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's overall understanding of the message, demonstrating the characteristics of Band 5.5 to 6.0, best represented here by a 6.0.

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