Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In many countries, people are now living in their place longer than ever before because of attractive their brainstorm. On the other hand, people have already addicted by place because they are more spending time with family and also neighbour.

I will discuss the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people say that, the population must creates problems for governments, in addition, they are responsibale for their citizen issues like that, environmental problems, jobs issues, and, transportations. According to some people point of views, the increas the population, it will negatively effects on environmental , due to the more population, the amount of cars must inoovation in our ecological systemslike that, cars sound and smoking.

In some countries,the population very less as people do not move other place for instance, New Zealand, South Africa and Ghana.

If i analyze this concept, why people are stand again this problems,

people can not arrange places for their death people. In China, the amount of population there because of goverenment support.

Other people think that, there are many benefits for all country people, we can know about forign culture and learn many languages due to population. On the contary, peopel have more elderly people that is why, they already knew about their journey.

Many place may be create for new genreation such as, museum, park and playgrounds in all around the world.

According to my point of views, the amount of population will effects on our places because various things, these will a lot of consume in any country like that, foods, transportation and education and also parks.

In conculsion, this essay wrote about people think extent do the benfits of having an agin population and some people thinhk that a lot of benefits due to populations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response addresses the prompt in a very limited way. While the writer attempts to discuss the aging population, the arguments are extremely confused, frequently straying into unrelated ideas about total population size, urban planning, and countries like China, New Zealand, and Ghana. The candidate's position is unclear, as the thesis statement mentions discussing the advantages outweighing the disadvantages, but the body paragraphs fail to structure or deliver a coherent argument on this topic. Key concepts from the prompt, such as living longer and specific problems or benefits for governments, are obscured by confusing phrasing and a lack of relevant examples. Ideas are underdeveloped and repetitive, leading to a Band 4 level of task response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The organization of the essay is heavily impaired. Although paragraphs are used to separate different thoughts, the internal logic within these paragraphs is frequently broken. Sentences often do not follow from one another, creating severe confusion for the reader. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, resulting in disjointed transitions between ideas. For instance, phrases like 'If i analyze this concept, why people are stand again this problems' fail to establish a clear logical connection. Paragraphing is present, but the overall progression of information is difficult to follow, which corresponds to a Band 4 descriptor.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and often unnatural or inaccurate. Words and phrases such as 'attractive their brainstorm', 'addicted by place', and 'death people' heavily strain the reader's understanding and impede communication. The writer attempts to use less common items like 'ecological systems' and 'innovation', but these are used incorrectly in context. Spelling and word choice errors are pervasive throughout the text. The lexical range is limited and inadequate for a standard academic writing task, fitting the profile of a Band 4.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay. The writer relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences result in severe structural errors and incomprehensible clauses, such as 'due to the more population, the amount of cars must inoovation in our ecological systemslike that'. Errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and word order are extremely frequent and often distort the intended meaning. Punctuation is also poorly managed. Because errors are constant and frequently cause difficulty for the reader, this performance earns a Band 4.

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